


you're the only thing that i want (i'm not giving up)

by 97babys (gyukooks)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Drunk Sex, Friends to Lovers, Is that a thing, M/M, Pining, Underage Drinking, Xu Ming Hao | The8 is Bad at Feelings, california au, i am a gyuldaengie if that wasn't obvious, like intense pining. jesus, no its true. its true, side jeongcheol, side soonwoo, side vminkook - Freeform, the puppyfication of kim mingyu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:14:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gyukooks/pseuds/97babys
Summary: Whatever Mingyu has been drinking has made him even more of a shameless dancer than usual. Minghao is giving the people around him short looks as they stare unabashedly at the way Mingyu is throwing himself on Minghao, tilting his head back with his eyes closed and a beguiling grin. He draws the attention of everyone around him, aura beyond attractive, enticing.Minghao wants to glare at them and pull Mingyu away, shove him in a closet to keep him all for himself. Minghao’s breath is catching on short puffs, heart racing far too fast for someone who is one hundred percent sober. These are things he feels, thinks towards Mingyu when he himself is wasted. Not sober. Never sober.//Or, realizing he's in love with his best friend after four years of friendship is not the revelation Minghao was looking to have. And now, he has no idea how to deal with it.
Relationships: Kim Mingyu/Xu Ming Hao | The8
Comments: 16
Kudos: 71





	1. one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this definitely did not spring from mingyu posting those pics on weverse. no. this fic is set in california, LA to be more specific!! inspired mostlyyyy by mingyu henggarae era hehehe.
> 
> fic ost is jaden's ctv3!!! title is from circa 2015, off the same album ~
> 
> also!!!! 95z + 96z are the same ages, and are seniors. with 97z being a year younger, so, juniors! 98z are sophomores, and chan is a freshie!

Minghao’s spiral into madness starts with a dog. 

He comes home from work to find his best friend sprawled across the floor (literally, all across, long legs and arms stretching over a surprisingly large expanse of their small living room), giggling as a small fluffy white dog crawls all over him. The noises are light, airy, nothing like Mingyu’s actual figure, but highly reflective of his personality. His face is lit up in complete bliss, devastatingly cute canines out on display, gentle flush across his cheeks from slight exertion at keeping up with the puppy. Minghao stands in the doorway, frozen, staring blankly at the scene in front of him.

“Oh, hey, Minghao, welcome home!” Mingyu exclaims, sitting up as he swaddles the dog into his arms, it attempting to wriggle out of his hold before eventually sitting stationary with a small more catlike purr. “I’m just dog sitting for Jeonggukie today, I hope that’s okay.”

Minghao remains speechless. He’s trying to decode the way his entire body seemed to react when he’d walked in the door, the way it’s still reacting now: heart racing so fast, threatening to beat right out of his chest, a slight blush spreading all down his skin, stomach knotting with something foreign, the immediate and reckless desire to kneel down and kiss Mingyu breathless.

_ What the fuck? _

“That is okay right?” Mingyu’s voice snaps him out of his daze, and he looks down at him, seeing Mingyu’s lips form a pout, eyes wide and nervous (the resemblance to the dog in his arms is striking). Minghao feels immediately guilty, places a gentle smile on his face and nods.

“Of course. But if it shits anywhere in this apartment, I will make you buy me boba every day for the next month,” Minghao says. Mingyu laughs out loud, throwing his head back, tousled black hair falling beautifully around him and  _ dear God, what is happening to him _ ? Minghao decides it’s best to remove himself from this situation, before he does something stupid. Like jumps his best friend of 3 years in the middle of their shared apartment. 

He quickly mumbles about going to take a shower before practically running into the bathroom, ignoring Mingyu’s concerned calls behind him. Under the spray, he stares intensely at the wall, completely and utterly confused by everything that went through his head in the last five minutes.

Mingyu is, objectively, attractive. More than that, he is definitely one of the most attractive people Minghao has ever seen. Which is saying a lot, because he styles models for a  _ living _ . Soft jet black hair that always seems to sit effortlessly in place with a gentle tousle on occasion, tanned skin highlighted golden by the California sun, sharp features that harmoniously come together to create the work of art that is Mingyu Kim’s face. So, obviously, Minghao can’t help but be attracted to him. It’s human nature. Yet, being friends with Mingyu for over three years has allowed him to witness some… less than desirable moments that have shaped his perception of the older. The attraction has definitely dissipated into a healthy  _ appreciation _ for his looks, nothing that has ever prompted his brain to want to reach out and kiss him. Sober, that is. Because, who doesn’t make out with their best friend sometimes when they’re drunk? A perfectly normal best friend thing to do. Bros being bros. Right.

He shakes his head, realizing it’s about time he gets out of the shower before Mingyu barges in to make sure he hasn’t drowned. He gets changed in the bedroom, drying his hair as he walks into the living room to see Mingyu still playing with the dog. 

“Gureumie, go get it!” he yells, aggressively launching the toy halfway across the room as Gureum runs after it with equal aggression. When he brings it back, Mingyu rubs behind Gureum’s ears with fervor, kissing the top of his head gently, lips slightly parted in joy. He brings Gureum to stand on his own feet, small paws contrasting with his own size, and giggles as he dances him around the floor.

Minghao is going to pass out.

When Mingyu notices Minghao standing there, he sets Gureum down to run around on his own, before walking towards Minghao, hand stretched out to grab the towel. Minghao wordlessly lets him take it, and then sits at one of the kitchen chairs, Mingyu standing behind him, beginning to tenderly dry his hair.

Mingyu drying Minghao’s hair is something he’s done since nearly the beginning of their friendship. When Minghao broke his arm in freshman year while dancing, Mingyu took it upon himself to wait on Minghao hand and foot; making his meals, helping him get around (despite him being obviously able to walk just fine), and drying his hair. Even after Minghao’s arm healed, Mingyu just kept doing it, and Minghao kept letting him, enjoying the way Mingyu would play soothingly with his hair. He always hates when it’s over.

This time, the sinking feeling in his chest when Mingyu’s done drying seems worse than it ever has, immediately missing the sensation, the way Mingyu’s chest presses against his upper back, low vibrations from Mingyu humming along to whatever’s playing on the speaker filling his senses. 

Mingyu, always the clean one out of the two of them, goes to put away the towel in the laundry bin, as Minghao sits, again, frozen in the seat, starting to seriously freak out at his current state of mind. Beneath him, Gureum yelps and scrapes at his legs. He glares down at the dog, silently sending the message that he will  _ not _ be playing fetch with him. Minghao is, again, reminded of Mingyu when looking at Gureum, more specifically, when Minghao rejects Mingyu’s  _ begs  _ to dance with him whenever they go out. Mingyu is a rather… seductive drunk dancer, all heavy grinding and limbs thrown all over the person he’s dancing with. It’s all too much for Minghao. For some reason.

He shakes his head, trying to return to some semblance of normalcy, because the world just feels like it's upside down and Minghao desperately needs to set it back straight again. “Hey, do you want to rent Minari again tonight? Thought you said you wanted to take some more notes again on your next watch.” Usually, Mingyu would brighten up, always excited to get some more inspiration for his junior film project (which, to Minghao’s frustration, he won’t let  _ anyone _ look at, except Wonwoo, of course. Minghao doesn’t know why that bothers him so much.), but Mingyu’s face just falls in some sort of disappointment… perhaps.

“Minghao!” Mingyu whines, crossing his arms. “It’s Seokmin and Hansol’s birthday tonight!  _ And _ the big game. How could you forget?”

And, fuck, how could he forget? Minghao had  _ just _ seen Seokmin for lunch four hours ago. That damn dog was doing things to his brain cells. Not only was it his friends’ birthday, but Mingyu had been planning this outing for nearly centuries. Plus, tonight was the university’s big soccer game, and Mingyu had been excited for it for nearly as long as he’d been planning the party. The whole group was going to watch, cheering Seungcheol, Wonwoo, Mingyu, Seokmin, Hansol, and Chan on. Then, they would gather for a surprise party at Jeonghan and Seungcheol’s.

“Slipped my mind, sorry, baby,” he says with a lopsided smile. Suddenly, he becomes all too aware of the amount of endearments he uses for his best friend, something he’s also always done since the beginning of their friendship. Seeing the way Mingyu melts after being called  _ sweetheart _ ,  _ baby _ , or  _ honey _ , is heartwarming and self satisfying, in a purely platonic way, of course.

Mingyu grins again, before picking Gureum up. He coos softly, giggling at the way Gureum bites gently at his fingers. He swaddles him again, rocking him like one would a baby, humming the same song from before. Minghao is more focused however, on the way his arms flex slightly at the strain from holding a fully grown dog.

Once again, Minghao isn’t stupid, or  _ blind _ . He can’t help but be attracted to Mingyu’s physique when all he wears are t-shirts or muscle tanks and shorts, perfect LA boy. Mingyu’s a total jock, been one since he was a kid, soccer player to the bone with his strong,  _ long _ legs. However, the  _ arms _ are a fairly recent development, as is the entire gym rat thing he has going on. Minghao can have Seungcheol and Wonwoo to thank for that, Mingyu completely idolizing the two team captains. He even goes as far as calling the both of them hyung, which he doesn’t do for any of the other five older boys in the group. 

He especially  _ loves _ Wonwoo, who’s a film major just like Mingyu. He pretty much wants to do everything Wonwoo does, team captain next year, internship at the same film company,  _ everything _ . The only thing separating them at this point is Mingyu’s passion for art, something he and Minghao actually both share. Nonetheless, Seungcheol and Wonwoo are Mingyu’s ultimate role models, and Minghao finds himself jealous on occasion at the way he looks at them with stars in his eyes. Again, for whatever reason. 

Mingyu sets Gureum down gently on the floor, where the dog begins immediately circling around his legs again, eliciting more giggles from Mingyu. And more puzzling stomach knots accompanied by several stabs to the heart from Minghao.  _ Seriously, what the fuck.  _ “Gotta get ready! Jeongguk is gonna pick me up in twenty minutes,” he calls in the hallway before his bedroom door closes. 

Mingyu ends up leaving  _ forty _ minutes later, for some reason having to perfect his hair even though it’s going to clearly get messed up within ten minutes of the game. He’s not even done, according to his whines when Jeongguk starts banging on their door in anger. He picks up Gureum in his dog carrier, offers a quick goodbye wave to Minghao accompanied by a flying kiss, and leaves. 

\---

Minghao goes to pick up Soonyoung, Junhui, and Seungkwan a few hours later. Less than two minutes into the car ride, he wishes he’d taken Joshua’s offer to drive those three instead so Minghao could get Jeonghan, Jihoon, and Seokmin, a significantly  _ less _ louder crowd. But, here he is, in Mingyu’s (dying) Jeep, his three friends sticking their heads out from every window in the car, screaming along to Nelly Furtado’s Promiscuous. 

“You’re gonna get your head cut off Hereditary style, and then I’m gonna have to leave your body rotting in the backseat for Mingyu to find!” Minghao yells to Soonyoung, who’s sitting shotgun, over the music and the air whipping around his face. Soonyoung, of course, ignores him.

  
He  _ finally _ pulls up to the university, Joshua driving in behind him, getting out of the car with a knowing look on his face. Joshua’s crowd all soundlessly get out, talking quietly amongst themselves. Minghao’s crowd, he doesn’t even want to  _ call _ them that, are somehow still singing (screaming) along to music that isn’t playing, slamming the car doors shut so hard Minghao is shocked that they don’t fall off. However, Jeonghan and Seokmin light up at seeing the other three, immediately matching their energies as they all, as a coalition, sing American Boy all the way up to their seats. Minghao, Jihoon, and Joshua walk a pointed distance behind them. 

They’re still a bit early, so they settle in in the student’s section, Minghao shoving off half their friends to be able to sit next to Seokmin. They begin falling into conversation with some of the people around them as well as each other. Seokmin and he talk to some of Jeongguk’s friends, Jimin Park and Taehyung Kim, Jimin being someone he dances with often, Taehyung a model he photographs often. They’re both holding onto a large pink sign covered in glitter hearts that says: “JEONGGUK JEON’S #1 FANS! WE LUV U BBY!” 

Minghao briefly wonders how Jeongguk fits into Taehyung and Jimin’s long standing relationship, officially considered one of the campus’s it couples. He wonders if Jeongguk feels like a third wheel, but on reflection seeing the three of them interact,  _ especially _ on nights out, he doesn’t think that’s the reality. He makes a mental note to ask Mingyu about it later.

Conversation transforms into large cheers as the announcer welcomes the audience to the stadium, and begins introducing the players. (When Jeongguk comes out, blond hair pulled back into a half ponytail, Minghao’s ears nearly fall off from the way his six friends are yelling for him. “You look sexy!” Jimin screams. Minghao giggles a little to himself as Jeongguk, who managed to catch it, blushes profusely.) The eight of them scream their asses off for their five friends, giving extra whoops for Hansol who runs out to the center of the field with a huge grin on his face. Mingyu, Wonwoo, and Seungcheol all lift him up above their heads (a significant feat) to the even louder cheers from the student section. 

Everyone holds their breath during the kickoff. This  _ is _ truly one of the biggest games of the season, the team going head to head against one of their biggest rivals, who they lost to last time. Mingyu and Jeongguk are starting strikers, doing their extremely elaborate handshake in the middle of the field before heading off to their respective positions. Wonwoo, Chan (one of their secret weapons as a starting freshman), and Johnny Suh are behind them on midfield, with Seungcheol, Hansol, and Jaehyun Jeong on defense, and finally, Yuta Nakamoto in goal. 

The whistle blows, and Mingyu practically flies through the air, shouting wildly at his teammates. Minghao knows, despite Hansol’s position, that they all have two aims in mind: one, win, two, get Hansol to score, something Mingyu is currently putting all of his energy into making sure happens. He’s going to be a good captain, Minghao thinks, watching Mingyu handle the ball effortlessly. In reality, he knows nothing important about soccer, but he  _ thinks _ Mingyu is doing good.

Exactly halfway through the first quarter, Mingyu slides Hansol the ball from the corner, and Hansol slams it in. The crowd roars as all of the team dog piles Hansol in joy. Minghao hears sniffing to the left of him, and turns to see Seokmin tearing up. Of course. Minghao rolls his eyes fondly and pulls Seokmin into a half hug, squeezing his shoulder in assurance. 

Five minutes before halftime, Mingyu gets in a goal of his own, assisted by Chan, and Minghao, Jimin, and Taehyung all near scream. A moment, Minghao thinks for all his reflection on those three’s relationship, he’ll have to probably assess later. Not now, not as he watches Mingyu practically glow as he’s surrounded by the team. Mingyu scans the crowd, catching Minghao’s eye who begins cheering for him again with fervor, making Mingyu grin beautifully.

Two goals in before halftime in a game this tough is a feat, and everyone is feeling it. Jimin turns to Minghao and nudges at his shoulder. “Your boy’s doing well,” he says with a smirk. Whatever that means.

However, it’s a short high as the rival team gets in another goal just before the whistle, and Minghao sees Seungcheol clench his teeth in annoyance.

This could be one of the games that stands between them and the championship, and Seungcheol, clearly, cannot let that happen in his senior year. He gives the team a brief thirty seconds to take in some water, before rounding them all up, him, Wonwoo and their coaches talking to them in hushed, urgent whispers. Minghao takes note of the way they often look up to Mingyu, prompting him to give his input, preparing him for his own inevitable captainship next year. Minghao’s heart grows fond as he thinks about the way that would make Mingyu feel, being trusted enough by his biggest role models to guide the team during one of their biggest games.

The whistle blows again. signaling the teams to get ready for the second half. Seungcheol and Wonwoo switch out Chan for Taeyong Lee, keeping the lineup the same, not trying to take risks with less experienced players. 

Not much time after the half begins, the other team gets a goal in, and there’s a ten minute nail biting period in which the referees decide whether it was offside. Meanwhile, the teams are huddled up, discussing more strategies. Wonwoo and Mingyu often look over their shoulders at the referee nervously. Ending the game in a tie isn’t the worst thing in a world, but it isn’t ideal. Plus, while there’s plenty of time to get the score in their favor, there’s equally enough time for the other team to do the same. 

Eventually, the referees call it, and everyone on the stands lets out a collective sigh of relief as the score goes back down to 2-1. 

Thirty minutes later, just before the end of the game, Mingyu secures the win in the bag with an incredible goal scored by a volley from Wonwoo. This time, everyone stands up, the entire student section falling into a steady chant of Mingyu’s name. Mingyu gets hoisted up onto Wonwoo and Seungcheol’s shoulders and parades around the field for a few moments as everyone cheers. 

This is it, Minghao thinks, this is what Mingyu is meant to experience every moment of his life. Being the center of attention, the focus of everyone in the room, glowing under the cheers and screams and the lights of the stadium that he’s managed to dominate. His hair is wet from sweat and water being poured on it, smile bright, jersey hanging off him like a second skin. He looks completely gorgeous, and Minghao’s chest is forming knots that would give a Boy Scout a run for his money.

Minghao snaps back to attention as the game resumes, the other team giving it their all, but their team defending with a new vigor. Seungcheol plays  _ mean _ , Minghao realizes, a direct contrast from his warm personality. He’s egged on by Jeonghan, who cheers every time Seungcheol makes a particularly harsh tackle. But, he never gets fouled, playing dirty but not dirty enough. In the end, it pays off, as the whistle blows with the final score, 3-1, their favor. 

The crowd is deafening as the opposing team shuffles off defeatedly, and their boys are encouraging the crowd on the field. They conclude the celebration by carrying Hansol around the expanse of the field, as Joshua records the whole thing, his entire group of friends all carrying the same huge smile on their faces. 

Eventually, everyone begins to move out, the eight of them lingering on the stands as their friends remain on the field. Minghao watches curiously as Mingyu approaches one of the cheerleaders, Jihyo Park, he briefly recognizes, talking to her animatedly for a significant amount of time. Mingyu is wearing his signature boy-next-door grin that he’s all too aware melts the heart of anyone who has the pleasure of being on the receiving end of it. His demeanor is flirtatious, one arm leaning against the fence, eyes shining with something unusual, causing Minghao to furrow his eyebrows in confusion. Mingyu hadn’t mentioned being interested in anyone, barely mentions relationships in the first place. He always briefly comments on someone who gave him their number during class, but never elaborates on if he’s going to entertain them or not.

“Hey, have they been hanging out?” Minghao says, nudging Seokmin’s shoulder and looking in Mingyu and Jihyo’s direction. Seokmin just raises his eyebrow and gives a small laugh in confusion.

“You’d know better than me, bro,” he says. Minghao shrugs. “Why do you ask?” he asks slowly, somewhat expectantly. 

“No reason, just curious. I hope so, it’d be good for him to see someone. Entertain one of his many admirers,” Minghao laughs, but he tapers off when he sees the look on Seokmin’s face.

“You really think so?” he asks. Minghao tilts his head to the side. “Well, yeah. I’m his best friend, I can recognize the fact that he needed to get laid like five months ago.” He claps his hand on Seokmin’s shoulder, effectively ending the strange conversation as they shuffle down the bleachers to the field.

Mingyu’s eyes light up when he sees Seokmin in front of Minghao, running over to him and tackling him to the ground with a loud bellow of something that sounds like happy birthday. Seokmin doesn’t seem phased, just giggles, letting Mingyu place kisses to the top of his head. They all congratulate the players, especially Hansol, who looks like he’s going to faint from all the attention from his older friends. Out of the corner of his eye, Minghao sees Jeongguk and his friends surrounding him, Jimin and Taehyung cooing at him, pulling at his cheeks as Jeongguk’s skin turns a brilliant red. 

Eventually, Joshua, Seungcheol, Mingyu, and Minghao make eye contact, signaling go time. They shuffle into their respective vehicles, the rest of their friends under the impression that they’re headed to Seungcheol and Jeonghan’s for a small night in. What they don’t know is that their apartment is filled with, well, half the entire campus. Seokmin knows  _ a lot _ of people, Hansol too, naturally. 

The crowd yells surprise as the thirteen of them walk in, Hansol and Seokmin at the front. Hansol blushes profusely, but Seokmin gives a huge series of whoops as the giant cake is brought out from out of the kitchen. Soonyoung and Mingyu, the bakers of the massive dessert are setting it on the table pushed in front of the two. 

There’s a large, completely out of tune rendition of happy birthday as Junhui straps little birthday hats atop their heads. They blow out the candles (Minghao thinks that 41 candles was a bit excessive, and a fire hazard), and feed each other a slice of cake. 

When Minghao is finally able to get his hands on a slice, it becomes clear who baked the cake and who decorated it. Which, he was sure of in the first place, but the contrast of the appearance of the cake and it’s flavor was astounding. 

Minghao hangs over in the corner with Hansol, Jihoon and Chan, until Hansol and Chan get dragged by Seungkwan to dance and it’s just Jihoon and Minghao, awkwardly holding their plates of cake as they watch their friends get absolutely wasted. Jihoon doesn’t handle alcohol well, Junhui always too busy causing problems to give his boyfriend company, and Minghao is DD, so this is generally how they find themselves at parties. Minghao doesn’t mind it, he genuinely enjoys the older’s presence, silent, but comforting.

  
Eventually, Mingyu stumbles over to him after making his rounds around the apartment, interacting, talking, taking shots with everyone he knows. Which is pretty much everyone there, so the older is absolutely sloshed at this point. “Minghaoooo, dance with meeeee!” he slurs and Minghao shakes his head fondly. For some reason, tonight, he feels less willing to fight back against Mingyu’s begging, feeling the urge to give in and let Mingyu drag him to the center of the room. 

He gives Jihoon a quick glance in apology, but Jihoon doesn’t look upset, just surprised that Minghao’s actually going to dance. Minghao is surprised at himself. But he relents anyway with a few more whines from Mingyu, that were unnecessary considering Minghao had already made up his mind, so all they do is cause even  _ more _ knots in his stomach. 

Whatever Mingyu has been drinking has made him even more of a shameless dancer than usual. Minghao is giving the people around him short looks as they stare unabashedly at the way Mingyu is throwing himself on Minghao, tilting his head back with his eyes closed and a beguiling grin. He draws the attention of everyone around him, aura beyond attractive, enticing. 

Minghao wants to glare at them and pull Mingyu away, shove him in a closet to keep him all for himself. Minghao’s breath is catching on short puffs, heart racing far too fast for someone who is one hundred percent sober. These are things he feels, thinks towards Mingyu when he himself is wasted. Not sober. Never sober.

Mingyu gets tired of dancing and decides he wants to rope an unsuspecting Hansol into a round of birthday shots (his seventh round of birthday shots for the night, the poor soul), pulling Minghao along like a rag doll behind him. A group of people begin egging him on, cheering for the proclaimed star of the game tonight. Of course, Junhui and Soonyoung are the leaders of this crowd, often deeming drunk Mingyu to be their favorite Mingyu. 

“Mingyu, weirdest kink, go,” Junhui slurs, question abrupt. Mingyu throws his head back and laughs. 

“He looks like a daddy kink type guy,” Joshua says, quite pensively for someone who is soaked in water from unfortunately meeting the end of Jeonghan’s drunk wrath. 

“Which side? Called or calling?” Soonyoung asks, seriously. Joshua smirks.

“Don’t know, that’s the fun part!” he says, and Mingyu laughs again, loudly and gorgeously. Minghao thinks he could attract fairies. 

“Well, doesn’t  _ everyone _ have a daddy kink?” Soonyoung asks, and Minghao shakes his head with a nose scrunch. 

“Absolutely  _ not _ ,” he says, and Junhui laughs, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Someone’s defensive,” Junhui singsongs, making everyone laugh along with him. Junhui certainly has that power. He’s never getting laughed  _ at _ , always making sure he’s  _ making _ people laugh. 

Suddenly, Mingyu abruptly turns to Minghao, eyes wide, and Minghao immediately knows. He mumbles an excuse to Soonyoung, who calls out a concern as the two of them hustle over to one of the bathrooms.

Much to Minghao’s surprise, he opens the door to see Jeongguk, Taehyung and Jimin all heatedly making out against the counter. They stare in shock as Minghao and Mingyu stare back, Jeongguk looking the most embarrassed of all, Taehyung’s lips still on his neck. Minghao gives a wordless gesture towards Mingyu to Jimin and he nods, the three of them shuffling out. Even in his volatile state, Mingyu raises his hand in the air for Jeongguk to give him a high five before closing the door behind them. Mingyu gives another look to Minghao in apology before hurling his guts into the toilet. Minghao sits behind him, carding his fingers through his hair, murmuring small reassurances to him. Mingyu leans his cheek against the seat and whines, and Minghao knows how he feels, giving him a soft look that he can’t see, continuing his ministrations in his hair soothingly. 

“I’m sorry,” Mingyu whines, and Minghao shakes his head.

“Don’t be. We’ll stay here for a bit, and make sure you get it all out of your system, then we’ll go home, okay?” Mingyu nods and takes a deep sigh before retching again, nearly missing the bowl. Minghao makes a silent prayer to God that this all stays neat, because Jeonghan will kill the two of them if they leave his bathroom a mess. He gives a sigh of his own and rests against the wall.

\---

“Hi, have you, um, seen Jeonghan?” Minghao stares blankly up at this giant of a boy, who currently looks like he’s on the verge of absolutely toppling over.

“I have no idea who that is,” he replies, honestly. The boy whines and plops on the couch next to Minghao, leaning his head back in frustration.

So far, Minghao was hating his first college party. Junhui had begged him to come, but upon arrival, ditched him for some of his other friends. Minghao has been nursing the same god awful concoction of vodka and coke for the past two hours, sitting stationary on this couch until he found  _ someone _ who could take him home. And now, there’s a boy who reeks of whiskey sitting right next to him, intensifying the headache that came from drinking. Minghao thought that was supposed to happen the  _ next day _ . 

After a few minutes of silence, well, not really, as the boy has been whining and moaning for most of it, he stands up abruptly, a wobble in his step. “I think I’m gonna be sick,” he declares, and Minghao stands up with him in alarm. He quickly guides him to the bathroom he’d just spent an unacceptable amount of time lingering in to pass the minutes, letting the boy spill everything out into this unknown person’s toilet bowl.

When Minghao thinks he’s done, the boy wipes at his cheek with his sleeve (gross) and looks over apologetically at Minghao. “I’m-” he starts before he turns to the toilet and throws up,  _ again _ . “Mingyu. I’m Mingyu,” he finishes, managing to form a grin. He’s rather attractive, Minghao briefly thinks. Which is saying something, considering he’s just watched Mingyu expel his guts for the past fifteen minutes.

Minghao had not been expecting formal introductions. He’d been expecting to make sure this guy doesn’t die in front of him, find one of his friends for him, and never see him again. He shrugs to himself and gives Mingyu a half smile.

“I’m Minghao. How are you feeling?” Mingyu groans and bangs his head against the seat (again, gross). “Like the devil just crawled down my throat and built hell 2.0 down there.” 

Minghao sits with Mingyu for about half an hour more, before pulling him up, supporting his weight as he helps him look for the Jeonghan in question. Once they find him, Minghao is able to name Jeonghan as one of the boys currently cheering for  _ Junhui _ , who is doing belly button shots off of Soonyoung. The perfect chaperone for this wasted boy in his arms. Minghao gets Jeonghan’s attention, who immediately takes in the wrecked state of his younger friend, giving Minghao a thankful look before whisking Mingyu away into the crowd.

Minghao thinks that’s the end of it. Until one day, he’s sitting in his favorite cafe, when, out of his peripheral vision, a familiar figure walks towards him, bursting into the cafe with urgency. He turns to see Mingyu, holding out a small bakery bag, sheepish grin on his face.

“Um, I’m not stalking you or anything! Your friend, Junhui, said you come here after class. I didn’t stalk him either! He’s friends with my friends so, um, but, um, I thought I’d get you this. To, say I’m sorry for that night,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. Minghao takes in Mingyu’s appearance, slicked slightly in sweat, clad in a soccer jersey and shorts, even more attractive than when he last saw him. He thinks there are people looking at them, most likely initially startled by Mingyu’s entrance, but captivated by Mingyu’s appearance. Minghao can’t blame them. 

Minghao waves him off, but takes the bakery bag out of Mingyu’s insistence. He gestures for Mingyu to sit down. “Really?” Mingyu asks, excitedly, taking the seat with a grin on his face, throwing his duffle bag down aggressively. Minghao thinks he’s rather puppylike, the way his bangs fall softly in front of his eyes, which are shining bright with hope. Minghao shrugs and gives a smile of his own.

“Yeah, you’re a freshman right? I don’t really have a lot of friends my age. Minus my roommate, Seokmin,” he says, taking a bite out of the cookie Mingyu got for him. He briefly notices Mingyu’s face fall, the hope sort of diminishing out of his eyes, but it’s gone as soon as he notices it, and he wonders if he hallucinated the whole thing.

“Ah, Seokmin Lee? I know him! Better than know him, he’s one of my closest friends.” They quickly fall into conversation about Seokmin, then about other places where their friend groups overlap. 

A cookie is the seed from where Mingyu and Minghao’s friendship forms, and it blossoms into the thing Minghao holds closest to his heart. 

\---

Minghao sets down the cup of tea gently on Mingyu’s bedside table as the older awakens with a groan. He shoves his face into the pillow, muffling his continuous moans.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Minghao says, with a smirk. Mingyu flips him off.

Then he holds that same hand out to blindly flop around in the air, in search of some part of Minghao’s body to drag him into bed. Minghao scoffs. “Yeah right. You smell of tequila and puke.” Mingyu whines, turning to face Minghao. His cheek is smushed endearingly into the pillow, distorting his facial features, but the pout and puppy eyes are all too recognizable. Minghao would have to be downright evil to deny someone when they’re looking at him like  _ that. _

He gives a deep sigh, completely feigned, as not a bone in his body is against him climbing into Mingyu’s bed, letting Mingyu wrap his entire body koala style around him. And Mingyu knows it too, as he buries his face into Minghao’s shoulder with a wide grin. Mingyu doesn’t even smell  _ bad _ , Minghao thinks with annoyance. The alcohol is most definitely still there, but somehow, with Mingyu’s natural body scent and fresh cologne still hanging off from last night, it’s not exactly unpleasant. 

They enjoy each other’s warmth for a significant period of time, Minghao even begins to drift into sleep before he remembers the breakfast he’s made which is probably going cold. 

“Mingyu-yah, come on, get up, let’s eat, baby” he says softly. It’s said in Korean, which he started learning sophomore year after he found out Mingyu was learning Chinese to be able to speak to Minghao’s parents. Mingyu’s parents are far more fluent in English than Minghao’s, but they’re always endeared when Minghao attempts to speak to them in Korean whenever the two of them go upstate to visit. Minghao’s parents, on the other hand, given the fact that Minghao had just come out to them on the same trip that they met Mingyu for the first time, had heard Mingyu speak Chinese and demanded to Minghao later that, direct quote from his mother, the woman who birthed and raised him, he marry this handsome boy or she will disown him and adopt Mingyu for her own. The Mingyu Kim effect.

Mingyu hums in response, and lifts his arms up, suggesting Minghao pull him out of bed. “Carry me,” he says, cheekily, and Minghao slaps his arms in response. “Have you absolutely lost it? You’re like 200 pounds of muscle.”

Mingyu pouts again, but Minghao’s already out the door and walking into the kitchen, making sure the pancakes he made are at a decent temperature still. Mingyu pads in and gasps theatrically, wrapping his arms around Minghao’s waist.

“For me?” he says, stupid grin on his face that Minghao wants to kiss off. No, no, he wants to  _ slap _ off. That’s right. “Well, I thought it was slightly unethical to let you starve,” Minghao replies, his blank expression completely unreflective of the way the rest of his body is reacting to being so  _ close _ to Mingyu. Which is nothing new, he’s this close to Mingyu roughly eighteen times per day. Jesus.

Mingyu picks up the plate Minghao had set out for him, and sits at the counter. He sticks a bite of pancake in his mouth and moans, far too seductively for the fact that he is eating  _ pancakes _ , making something in Minghao’s stomach churn. “So good.” 

Minghao manages to offer a weak smile. “Glad you like em’,” he says, nearly dropping the pancake he was flipping at the sound of yet another moan. What is this, food porn? He turns around, his own plate in hand, and actually  _ does _ manage to let it slip out of his hands as he watches in shock as Mingyu sucks the syrup off his fingers much too slowly, looking up at Minghao with his eyes wide, and is it getting hotter in there?

“Whoa, Hao, are you okay?” Minghao realizes he’s let the plate slam onto the counter, the topmost pancake flopping onto the counter. Minghao gives a dry laugh that he realizes is not convincing in the slightest and nods.

“Yeah, sweaty hands, you know it.” Mingyu tilts his head in confusion before smiling, and Minghao lets out a sigh of relief. “I’m supposed to be the clumsy one,” he teases, and Minghao giggles, sitting down at the counter opposite of Mingyu.

They eat in relative silence, making small comments here and there about the events of last night’s party. “Jeongguk, Taehyung, and Jimin, huh?” Minghao says. Mingyu grins around a bite of pancake. It should be utterly disgusting, but of course, it’s Mingyu, so it’s hopelessly cute. 

“Thank  _ god _ . Literally, every day at practice, it’s, ‘Mingyu, Jimin texted me this, what’d you think it means?’ ‘Taehyung looked  _ so _ hot today, I’d let him take me however he wants.’ It’s really about time,” Mingyu replies, feigning exasperation, but his expression says otherwise. Minghao laughs.

Mingyu scarfs down his last pancake out of six, looking aimlessly around the kitchen like another one is going to manifest from thin air. Minghao rolls his eyes, and plops one of his own onto Mingyu’s plate. Mingyu looks up at him like he’s just gifted him the Kohinoor crown. “Here, you look hungry,” Minghao says, somewhat sarcastically. But Mingyu still looks at him with complete adoration, and Minghao can’t help but stretch over the table to ruffle his hair gently. Who can blame him?

“You always take care of me,” Mingyu says, softly, after he’s finished the seventh pancake in record time. He’s looking down at his hands, but looks up at Minghao slowly from beneath his eyelashes, his eyes shining hopefully. Minghao is suddenly reminded of that day in the cafe, the day they first became friends. Over the years, he’s never managed to shake the feeling that that encounter didn’t go the way Mingyu expected it to, like he was hoping for something... different, that Minghao never managed to catch onto. But Minghao doesn’t think he’s unsatisfied now, they’re practically as close as they possibly could be.

“Well, of course I do, love. You’d be dead in a ditch somewhere without me,” Minghao says, and he expects Mingyu to laugh along, but Mingyu shakes his head insistently, now looking at Minghao directly in the eyes with some traces of desperation.

“No, I mean. No one else in this world does the things you do for me. Take care of me when I’m absolutely trashed then let me puke my guts up in front of you. You let me cry to you at ungodly hours of the night, then keep me company when I need to stress bake afterwards. You bring me takeout when I spend too long at the field taking practice penalties. You let me gush to you about film for hours. You cuddle with me, call me the nicknames that no one else does that make me feel so  _ good _ inside. You, you look at me like you care so much, and, I don’t know if I’m reading it all wrong, but, sometimes it seems like, like you feel the  _ same _ ,” he tapers off into a whisper before settling into silence. Minghao smiles at him fondly, and Mingyu parts his lips in excitement, looking like he can’t wait another minute for Minghao’s response.

“I’ll always do those things for you, Mingyu,  _ sweetheart _ . I care for you the way you care for me,” Mingyu’s head jolts up from where it was currently beginning to tilt towards the ground. His eyes are as wide as saucers now, anticipating, waiting.

“You’re my best friend. It’s what friends do,” Minghao adds. And if he weren’t Mingyu’s best friend, he wouldn’t notice the way Mingyu’s expression completely crashes as soon as the words leave Minghao’s mouth. It’s brief, but profound, the way Mingyu goes from hope, to despair, to desperation, to somewhat of an acceptance. The half smile he forces makes Minghao feel sick.

“Of course, I, thank you. Just wanted to let you know, I appreciate it,” he forces another smile, and picks up their plates, carrying them to the sink, leaving Minghao in his chair utterly confused at what he said wrong.

\---

Minghao’s stomach churns as he sits on the bleachers, intently watching Mingyu and Jihyo engaged in conversation. Mingyu’s amped the flirtiness to an all time high, Minghao swears he flexes when he pulls his shirt up to wipe the sweat off his forehead. Jihyo is no better, twirling the strands of hair that slip out from her ponytail around her fingers, giggles wracking her small frame as she laughs at whatever (probably unfunny) thing Mingyu is saying. 

He’s sitting with Seungkwan, Jeonghan, Seokmin and Soonyoung as they wait for the team to finish up practice, working on assignments in the meantime. Or, they’re supposed to, however, it ends up being just the five of them indulging in the gossip vine. Minghao is pointedly refusing to participate in the current topic of conversation. 

“They look kinda good together,” Seungkwan whispers, gesturing towards Mingyu and Jihyo (except, it’s not a whisper at all, and Minghao would be surprised if everyone sitting around him didn’t hear it). Seokmin and Jeonghan glare at him, before glancing slightly over at Minghao to gauge his reaction. Minghao doesn’t meet their eyes, too busy poring holes into Mingyu and Jihyo on the field who are currently  _ comparing hand sizes. _ Gross, this isn’t  _ high school _ . 

Everything about this… relationship is a high school cliche. Star jock and head cheerleader? Minghao thinks he’s found himself in some god awful chick flick from the 90s. Which makes him the loser art student that trails after the jock like a sad puppy. Great. 

Minghao forces himself to pull his eyes away. He doesn’t know why he’s so affected, probably because he hates PDA more than anything, and because Mingyu hasn’t told him  _ anything _ about this new development with the cheerleader. In fact, Mingyu hasn’t told him much of anything at all. He’s been uncharacteristically distant since the night after Hansol and Seokmin’s birthdays, cancelling the last two Friday movie nights. Minghao briefly wonders if he was hanging out with Jihyo instead, and his jaw clenches out of his own will. He just isn’t used to sharing so much of Mingyu’s attention, that’s all. 

He meant what he said to Seokmin, he’s more than excited for Mingyu to be finally dating. He’s just irritated at being kept in the dark about the whole thing, frustrating at trying to figure out what he did for Mingyu to be keeping something from him for the first time in their friendship.

His mind continuously travels back to that, how Mingyu had gushed about their relationship, their  _ friendship _ , right. How he’d looked after Minghao had given his response, like it’d been the exact opposite of what he’d expected, like Minghao had let him down somehow. How nothing has really felt the same since then, Mingyu always seeming like he’s trying to rush out of the apartment, making no move to ever cuddle up with Minghao when they’re watching something together on the couch, something they haven’t even done in over a week. It’s even more frustrating that Minghao doesn’t even know what he’s  _ done _ . 

Soonyoung pulls him out of his thoughts when he pokes him on the shoulder to show him the dance practice Taemin has just uploaded. Soonyoung practically has stars in his eyes, then something a little less holy when the idol on screen grinds onto the floor. Minghao could gag.

“What would Wonwoo think if he knew you were making eyes at another guy?” Minghao teases.

“He’d understand, it’s  _ Taemin _ , and I’m only human,” he says, seriously. “Besides, we both have one celebrity we would fuck if we had the chance and wouldn’t consider it cheating. His is Megan The Stallion. Ah, the taste,” he adds, clutching his phone to his chest as he looks over in Wonwoo’s direction, blowing his boyfriend a loud kiss when they meet eyes. 

Minghao inevitably trails his eyes over to Mingyu, who is still talking to Jihyo. Seriously, don’t the two of them have practicing to do? Eventually, Jeongguk, the angel that he is, comes over and drags Mingyu to do drills. Mingyu gives Jihyo a sheepish wave, and she wiggles her fingers in goodbye as she walks back to her team. 

“What’d you think, Minghao? They look good together, huh?” Jeonghan calls, leaning over the other five to reach Minghao. There’s something indiscernible in his eyes, like he’s expecting Minghao to react in a specific way. 

He shrugs in response. “Sure. She could do better though.” Jeonghan’s mouth twists, and he shares a glance with Seokmin before returning to his work, shoulder hunched in disappointment. Minghao wants to scream, this is becoming a recurring pattern and he’s not liking it.

Except it’s not true, because of course she likes him. Who wouldn’t? Mingyu’s a lot of fun, cute in every way, and breathtakingly handsome. Practically born to be loved by the masses. 

Eventually, the practice ends, and the five of them walk down the bleachers to greet their friends. They all break apart, and Minghao smiles softly as he watches Jeonghan fuss over Seungcheol’s hair. He longs to have a relationship like theirs, utterly comfortable with each other, two people who tell each other anything and everything. They’ve had their bumps, with Jeonghan breaking up with Seungcheol their junior year and leaving for Korea for the summer, leaving a brokenhearted Seungcheol in his wake. But, they’ve managed to piece it all back together. Minghao can’t wait for the wedding.

He’s told Mingyu as much before, how he wants to be with someone who knows everything about him, and Mingyu had seemed to share his sentiments, with fervor, at that. Jihyo Park does  _ not _ seem like someone who knows everything about Mingyu. 

Mingyu finally walks out from behind the fence, and seems startled when he finds Minghao’s eyes. Minghao is not sure why, considering he often does come to Mingyu’s practices to pick him up afterwards. But his expression fades, and he smiles, although Minghao thinks it’s quite forced.

“I got two strawberry milkshakes down at the diner with our names on ‘em. Let’s go,” Minghao says with a grin, reaching out to grab Mingyu’s arm, not expecting Mingyu to step back, out of his reach. He furrows his eyebrows with a frown as he takes in Mingyu’s apologetic expression. 

“Ah, sorry, Hao. I made plans to see a movie with Jihyo. Next time, though,” he says softly. Minghao doesn’t say anything, just bites on his lip. “I really am sorry,” he says, but it doesn’t seem like is all that sorry, as he lights up when Jihyo walks towards him, like he’s eager to get  _ out _ of this interaction. He slides his arm around her waist, and she smiles up at him before offering the same smile, warm and genuine to Minghao.

“Hey, Minghao,” she says. He smiles back and returns the greeting. He can’t hate her, of course, it’s not  _ her _ fault Mingyu is an asshole and Minghao is reconsidering the foundation by which they based their friendship. In fact, Jihyo is one of the kindest people he’s met, which is why the smile he gives her is genuine as well, more genuine than the fake one he flashes Mingyu before walking away. Mingyu surely notices, as his eyebrows furrow slightly when Minghao turns around. Minghao couldn’t care less how he feels.

However, he reconsiders that sentiment as he despondently sips on his strawberry milkshake as he sits alone at the bar of  _ their _ favorite diner, seat next to him starkly empty. The waitress gives him a sad look as he asks for the check, and tells him it’s on the house. He gives her a half smile, and stares down at the empty glass, wondering why everything feels so incomplete.

\---

It goes on like that. They stop having dinner together, they stop going shopping together, stop practicing Korean and Chinese together, stop doing everything, even talking together. Minghao rarely sees Mingyu, who zips in and out of the apartment like every inch of it besides his room and the bathroom is made of lava. 

Mingyu doesn’t even ask Minghao to come to the next game, which he never has to in the first place, but it’s something they’ve always done. Mingyu looking at Minghao with a bit of his lip tucked under his sharp canine, eyes shining like Minghao’s going to say  _ no _ . Minghao always ruffling his hair fondly, saying, “Of course, dummy. You know I’m your biggest fan.” But this time, Mingyu leaves without a word, and Minghao decides that he just isn’t going to go at all. Because, fuck Mingyu Kim.

And, strangely enough, Wonwoo and Seungcheol seem to be  _ angry _ at him, not for missing the game, Minghao realizes, but for something more than that. They give him short responses whenever he tries to talk to them, and Seungcheol goes as far as to glare at him when he thinks Minghao isn’t looking. What the fuck. Minghao tries to ask Soonyoung and Jeonghan about it, but they both look at him like they’re  _ surprised _ that he doesn’t know. What the  _ fuck _ . Minghao is starting to get increasingly more paranoid about this one big obvious thing he seems to keep missing. 

Minghao grows to regret the decision to skip the game, when Hansol and Chan confront him a few days later, knocking on his apartment door timidly. He swings open the door to see the two youngest members of their friend group looking at him practically with tears in their eyes.

“Did we do something wrong? Everyone said they didn’t know why you didn’t come to the game,” Hansol asks softly, and Minghao is beating himself up to hell and back. He shakes his head insistently, and pulls them into a hug, whispering apologies into their hair, inviting in to serve them mac and cheese and to watch movies with him. And naturally, after  _ that _ dilemma, Seungkwan gives him the cold shoulder, accompanied by a frosty few days from Jeonghan. Everything is a mess.

Meanwhile, Minghao is finding out about all the developments in Mingyu and Jihyo’s relationship via Instagram, of all fucking places. Minghao ends up almost deleting the app out of irritation. 

  
Seokmin is the only person he fully spills everything over to, except for the slightly  _ compromising _ thoughts he’s been having about Mingyu. He doesn’t need to know about that. Seokmin listens to everything calmly, yet Minghao thinks he can detect some frustration in his demeanor, like there’s something he desperately wants to say, trying to hold it to himself. 

“Well, I think Mingyu just doesn’t know how to interact around you right now. I mean, this is the first time he’s been in a relationship since the start of college, it’s just a weird time for your friendship. He hasn’t dated anyone since he met you,” Seokmin says, sipping on his iced coffee, staring up at Minghao with that same indiscernible look Jeonghan had had a few weeks prior on the bleachers.

“Yeah, it’s weird? People throw themselves at him all the time, attractive ones too. I’m glad he finally got his head out of his ass and gave one of them a chance. She seems good for him. Not that I’d know much,” he jokes, but all the words seem fake in his mouth, genuinity fading with every sentence. Seokmin frowns, and Minghao almost begs him to just  _ tell _ him what he knows. 

It is strange though, in all of their nearly four years of knowing each other, Mingyu has never even gone on a date with anyone. 

(“Maybe he has a thing for white girls and he’s embarrassed to tell you,” Soonyoung said to him once, words muffled around a mouthful of ramen. Wonwoo throws his head back and laughs. 

“Mingyu? I think the fuck not,” Wonwoo says. 

“You never know, I think he’s a pretty unpredictable guy,” Soonyoung replies. Minghao refuses to take anyone on their fifth helping of cup ramen of the hour seriously.)

_ Minghao _ has had more than him, and they never talked about that either, Mingyu never expressing desire to meet any of his more long term boyfriends, with the exception of the Nigerian exchange student Minghao dated their sophomore year, who Mingyu got along with just fine. But Minghao thinks that has something more to do with the fact that they were forced to break up six months into the relationship when his exchange year ended. 

“Right. Anyway, I think you should come to the game tonight. Everyone was pretty bummed last time,” Seokmin says. Minghao nods, he was planning to anyway, although Mingyu still hadn’t asked him about it. Minghao thinks this is the longest they’ve ever gone without speaking, it’s been almost two whole days since they spoke, and it was just Mingyu asking Minghao if he needed anything from the store.

After Minghao says goodbye to Seokmin, he sits in his car for a moment, thumb hovering over the Instagram icon before he throws all self preservation out of the window and taps on it. Jihyo’s post is the first thing on his feed, the Instagram algorithm deciding her posts are the ones he wants to see the most after stalking her entire page many nights in a row.

It’s of her and Mingyu, of course, a selfie of the two of them, her kissing his cheek as he scrunches up his nose. His immediate reaction is endearment at Mingyu’s expression, then, almost as quickly, his heart drops as he takes in the background of the picture. It’s  _ their _ diner, the one they’ve gone to since the beginning of college, and he took her there. 

Realistically, he has no right to be mad, the diner is quite popular at their school, and he’s sure Mingyu meant no malice of it. But he can’t help, especially with the way Mingyu and him have been interacting, or really not interacting the past few weeks, but feel angry. Angry at Mingyu for  _ abandoning _ him, angry at his friends for knowing things about him and not telling them to him, angry at himself for feeling like he’s missing something huge, that’s staring at him, practically begging him to just  _ look _ . 

Minghao shuts his phone off and drives back to the apartment, not surprised at all to see it deserted. Good. He marches into Mingyu’s room, shuffles through his closet before pulling out the item he was searching for. Some part of him thinks this is a terribly bad idea, that it most definitely looks compromising, and perhaps not how he thinks he intends it to be. Minghao ignores all the blaring alarms in his head, and walks out the door, clad in Mingyu’s jersey from freshman year, KIM 09 on the back and everything.

He’s worn it before, not in public, but before. It’s comfortable, and Mingyu’s eyes always shine with joy whenever he does, so it’s pros all around. Minghao doesn’t see anything too strange about the whole thing, he’s wearing his best friend’s jersey in support of his best friend’s game, to remind his best friend that they are in fact, still best friends. Nothing strange. Bros being bros. 

His friends' confused looks as he walks onto the bleachers next to him are starting to make him reconsider the whole ordeal, as well as the whispers from the people around them. To Minghao’s surprise, Jeonghan looks excited and Junhui looks like Christmas has come early, but Soonyoung is the one who speaks up first.

“Hey Hao, why are you wearing Mingyu’s old jersey?” he asks, despite wearing one of Wonwoo’s old jerseys himself. Minghao shrugs. Junhui’s reaching over Seokmin to get a video of Minghao and then the back of the jersey, zooming in on KIM, bold and bright on the back. 

“In support, of course,” he replies. Soonyoung tilts his head in confusion. 

“Right, but, usually, couples do that,” he says slowly, like Minghao is a preschooler who’s just ate all of the macaroni he was supposed to use for his Father’s Day tie. 

Minghao gives a small laugh. “When have Mingyu and I ever done anything conventional?” Out of his peripheral vision, Minghao sees Jeonghan’s expression fall and Junhui turn away from Minghao in exasperation. Jihoon puts his head in his hands. Minghao doesn’t know what’s happening. 

“Don’t you think Jihyo might not be happy with that?” Seungkwan pipes up. 

“I’m sure Mingyu’s explained to her how close we are. She should be fine with it. Not like she can wear it anyway, so, someone should.” No one says more on the topic after that, all seven of them having some degree of frustration on their faces, Jeonghan’s perhaps the worst.

He greets Jimin and Taehyung as they sidle up next to him, wearing JEON 07 jerseys of their own, holding a new sign. It’s bright blue, and says: JK YOU HAVE THE BIGGEST DICK ON THE FIELD! KICK ASS!!! Minghao laughs a little. 

Taehyung smirks at him and nudges him on the shoulder. “You guys finally got it together, huh? Jeonggukkie said you were goin’ through a rough patch, but I bet the makeup sex was bomb,” he gestures to the jersey, but Minghao gives him a blank look in confusion.

“I’m just, just wearing this as his friend,” he says, softly, flustered by Taehyung’s comments. Taehyung tilts his head to the side, Jimin giving a small laugh before covering his mouth, like he didn’t mean to let it escape. He pats Minghao on the back soothingly, cooing at him softly, for whatever reason. Something happened in October of 1995 that managed to birth two of the most confusing people to walk the earth. 

The game ends smoothly, 5-2, with Mingyu getting his second hat trick of the year. They all shuffle down to the field, like usual. He watches Jihyo walk over to Mingyu, and he kisses her on the cheek gently, making Minghao churn with something more than usual. Mingyu looks over her shoulder and meets eyes with Minghao, trailing his eyes down before they widen upon seeing what he’s wearing. He mumbles something to Jihyo, presumably an excuse, which makes her turn around, her own expression morphing into that of shock when she sees him. 

Mingyu storms over to him, and clears his throat before hissing, “ _ What _ are you wearing?”

Minghao fake pouts. “What, no hello? After I came all this way even after you didn’t even ask me to come?” he replies. Mingyu closes his eyes and lets out a deep sigh.

“Let’s, let’s go home,” Mingyu eventually says, and Minghao scoffs.

“Oh, should we? I’m sick of doing everything on your fucking terms,” Minghao spits and Mingyu winces. Minghao glances around him, seeing how their friends are pointedly making an effort not to stare, but failing to do so. Minghao feels Wonwoo and Seungcheol’s glares digging a hole into his back, right in the center of the 9.

The drive home is silent, Mingyu staring out the window as Minghao hums noncommittally along to the song on the radio. Ariana Grande doesn’t miss, he thinks, absentmindedly, trying to ignore the building knots in his chest. 

Once they reach the apartment, Minghao strolls in casually as Mingyu slams the door shut behind himself. He crosses his arms as they face each other in the center of the living room, not taking his eyes off of Minghao’s jersey, nearly identical to the one he’s wearing. 

“What the fuck, Minghao?” Mingyu finally breathes out. “Are you trying to fuck with me? How am I supposed to explain this to Jihyo?”

Minghao’s fist clenches briefly at the mention of Mingyu’s girlfriend, before he feels guilt at having dragged her into their mess. It would be difficult for him to explain it to her, and the last thing Minghao wants is for her feelings to be hurt in any way. The regret is starting to sink in, but he pushes on.

“That’s the most you’ve said to me in a week,” Minghao says softly, more softly than he intended. Mingyu’s mouth clamps shut. “Look, I, I get this wasn’t the best way and, I’m sorry to Jihyo, at least, but, seriously? You just shut me out of your life, what the fuck is going on?”

Mingyu says nothing, just looks down at his feet guiltily. “I don’t want to lose you,” Minghao adds, tears beginning to form, threatening to spill. “I mean, it’s March and we haven’t even talked about your birthday trip. Is it something I did?”

And he knows, Minghao  _ knows _ it’s something he did, it’s the only thing that makes sense. He waits for Mingyu’s reaction, to see if Mingyu will finally tell him. But, his heart drops when Mingyu shakes his head.

“No, it’s nothing. I’m just stupid, and I got caught up in my head, and I got nervous about telling you about Jihyo because I didn’t know if you’d like it or not. I’m sorry, I really am, I miss you too, so much, you have no idea,” he says. Minghao almost frowns, he knows Mingyu is  _ lying _ and he wants to beg him to tell him. Instead, he smiles softly and pulls Mingyu into a hug. He could never be mad at him for too long, puppy that he is. 

Mingyu smiles in relief and goes in willingly, resting his head onto Minghao’s shoulder, breathing slowly against Minghao’s neck. Although his heart is still heavy, everything feels lighter with Mingyu in his arms, like he could ignore everything else, and focus on this beautiful boy in his arms. His best friend in the whole world. He smiles against Mingyu’s hair and ruffles it gently, Mingyu makes a small noise in contentment at the gesture. 

“It looks good on you,” Mingyu says, softly, arms still wrapped around Minghao. Minghao makes a small noise in questioning. “The jersey, it fits you well.” Minghao whispers a soft thanks, wondering if there’s more to the compliment than he thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hii!! new gyuhao because i am always thinking about them!! this is chaptered GASP! but i'm just uploading it all at once because i don't think i'm incapable of starting to write something that i don't finish within 3 days. blessing and a curse, truly. 
> 
> this fic was supposed to be like a 5k oneshot, but i'm crazy, so. 
> 
> all side characters are twice, bts, or nct members!!! ik some people rly don't like it when a female idol is a love interest but i LOVE jihyo so much no hate or anything whatsoever to her!!! she'll get a happy ending i promise
> 
> also sorry for any mistakes i'm really bad at.. proofreading. 
> 
> *additional notes*
> 
> \- ofc gyukook best friends because who would i be without that. and side vminkook because who would i be without that.  
> \- i don't know if this is an everywhere thing but at the high school i went to at least the athlete's significant other would always wear one of their extra jerseys to the game???? so??? that's where that came from...
> 
> go forth onto the next chapter! much shorter than this MONSTER, but much more fluffier :D i do hope you enjoyed this one!!!!


	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mingyu’s gaze seems foreign, something strange twinkling in his eyes, but then, Minghao thinks it’s not quite foreign at all. It’s horribly familiar, it’s the way Mingyu always looks at him, with eternal fondness, a silent promise to stay by Minghao’s side. Yet, for some reason, now it seems suffocating, all too much for Minghao to digest, so he pulls away from the eye contact, and opts to stare up at the sky, close his eyes, and let the moonlight imprint on the back of his eyelids, relishing in the soft sounds of the waves crashing against the sand. He breathes out slowly, as Mingyu pulls his hand closer to his own, intertwining their fingers as they lay together in beautiful, peaceful silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cue the fluff!!!!!!!
> 
> again fic ost is ctv3 by jaden, but for this specific chapter, i would listen to everything + falling for you !!<3

“Kim, if you’re not out in ten minutes, I’m leaving your ass behind,” Minghao calls from the doorway. He makes a mental runthrough of everything in the few duffle bags around him. Sunscreen, check. Swimming trunks, check, for Mingyu of course, because Minghao does  _ not _ swim. Lord of the Rings collection, check. He shuffles through the biggest bag, and nods to himself when his fingers brush against the few cold bottles buried in between the clothes. Alcohol, check. 

“Coming, coming, damn!” Mingyu says, stumbling over himself as he grabs the bag he threw next to the couch. He’s dressed for the occasion, firetruck red swim shorts with their university’s signature white t-shirt, sunglasses hanging off the back of his head. It contrasts Minghao’s own look of choice, tight black skinnies with a black band tee, collection of chains heavy around his neck. Mingyu frowns.

“You’re going to overheat,” he says, gesturing to Minghao’s ensemble. Minghao shrugs. “I packed shorts for later.” 

They pile into Mingyu’s jeep, Minghao plugging in his phone to blast Jaden’s newest album through his speakers. The gentle strings of Circa 2015 flow through the speakers as Mingyu jets off to Palm Springs. They drive in relative silence, enjoying each other’s company as the wind blows through their hair, Jaden’s soft vocals lulling Minghao into a comfortable peace as he watches the California coastline pass him by, breathing in the growing scent of ocean air. 

He glances over at Mingyu ever so often, who’s humming along quietly, brushing his fingers through his hair mindlessly. Minghao wants to capture him like this, have a full on shoot then and there. He takes in the way the sun, barely peeking through the clouds on an uncharacteristically cloudy day, hits the high points of Mingyu’s face, catching on the teeth that poke out as Mingyu raps along to Rainbow Bap. He’s so gorgeous, Minghao thinks, in line with Jaden’s lyrics, as he pulls out his film camera to snap a picture of Mingyu’s side profile, as perfect as the rest of him. He doesn’t realize how long he’d been staring at the older, until Mingyu turns to him with an eyebrow raised.

“What, I got something on my face?” he teases, and Minghao shakes his head with a smile. “Got distracted,” Minghao replies.

Mingyu sighs theatrically and runs his fingers through his hair again (Minghao doesn’t know why he finds that so attractive all of a sudden.) “I know, this face is just  _ so _ distracting. I don’t blame you really, it’s a crutch on my life.” Minghao shoves him as he bursts into giggles. 

  
They fall into silence again, but with twin smiles on their faces this time. 

Bless having rich friends, Minghao thinks, as they finally pull up to Joshua’s family’s beach house. Joshua graciously lends it to them every year in April, for their traditional annual weekend celebration of Mingyu’s birthday. 

Mingyu lets out a small noise of relief and joy as he starfish flops onto the couch, face first. Minghao snorts and begins carrying their bags to their room. There’s three bedrooms, but they’ve always preferred to share one, Mingyu forever the clingy drunk. He sets the alcohol in the kitchen as Mingyu jumps from room to room excitedly, like he’s a dog who’s been kept in the car for a few hours and is dying to run around. Actually, that’s exactly what he is.

He runs into the kitchen and picks Minghao up by the waist, who gives a shriek in response as he nearly drops the bottle of tequila he had just managed to rest on the counter. “Hao, I’m so excited. We’re gonna have  _ so _ much fun,” he exclaims, somehow managing to bounce up and down while carrying Minghao at the same time, but Minghao just slaps at his arms.

“If you don’t put me down in the next three seconds, I’m gonna have  _ so _ much fun planning your funeral,” Minghao deadpans, as Mingyu sets him on the ground again with a pout. It quickly disappears as he pulls Minghao to the bedroom excitedly. 

“C’mon let’s go now, before the sun goes down!” he says, already throwing swim trunks at Minghao, going to look for towels for the two of them. And, because he couldn’t say no to Mingyu even in his wildest dreams, he pulls on the trunks with a sigh, trailing behind Mingyu as he practically runs out of the door. 

This section of the beach is practically deserted, so Minghao comfortably sets down their towels and things towards the center of the area. Mingyu is bouncing up and down next to him, and Minghao thinks if he ignores him for a bit, he’ll go away. Of course, that doesn’t work.

“Let’s go, Hao, let’s go!” he says. And Minghao smiles slyly. “You go, I’ll follow you in a bit. Gotta tan a little.” Mingyu frowns.

“It has been cloudy all day, and the sun is literally halfway set,” he replies, crossing his arms. Minghao shrugs and settles down on the towel. Mingyu pouts again, but relents, and pulls his shirt off.

And Minghao was  _ not _ ready for that, although, he’s not quite sure why he’d have to be, considering this is something he’s seen only a thousand times. But, he swears Mingyu has gotten even more jacked since the last time Minghao saw him shirtless (which was not two days ago). Is it possible for someone to have a twelve pack?

Mingyu turns around to walk towards the water, with purpose, and Minghao feels like he’s never appreciated how  _ big _ Mingyu is, shoulders broad, arms full and strong. Minghao’s eyes trail down against his own will, down to the way his trunks shape perfectly around-

It’s jealousy, Minghao thinks. Minghao is just jealous that he’ll never be able to build that type of pure muscle mass. Plus, can’t friends appreciate each other’s bodies sometimes? Perfectly normal thing, Minghao reasons, as he drinks in the sight of Mingyu’s back muscles flexing as he leans back on the surface, the way the light pinks and purples of the sky reflect off the water and onto his skin. Minghao’s fingers itch to pull out the camera and capture another image, and who is he to deny them? He takes one vertically and one horizontally, for good measure.

Mingyu gets inevitably bored of entertaining himself, and pads over to Minghao. His wet hair is flopped charmingly over his eyes, and he shakes his head aggressively, which does absolutely nothing in terms of getting it dried. He’s pouting, reaching a wet hand out to grab Minghao’s. 

“Come  _ on _ , you said you would,” he says. “It’s my birthday.” Minghao feigns confusion.

“No it’s not, tomorrow’s your birthday.” Mingyu’s pout deepens, and the things Minghao is thinking are most definitely not normal. 

They stare at each other for a significant moment, neither one of them breaking their stubbornness, before Mingyu makes the first move, throwing a shouting Minghao over his shoulder, sprinting over to the water and launching Minghao in. Minghao emerges a few moments later, soaked from head to toe, spluttering water out of his mouth, running towards Mingyu with urgent purpose to splash him with every ounce of strength he has in him.

Minghao doesn’t know how long they go on splashing each other, laughing loudly as they indulge in childish games as the sun eventually sets. When they think they’re completely depleted of energy, they crash onto the wet sand, toes dripping from the waves periodically brushing against them. They lay next to each other, out of breath, as Mingyu skirts his hand over to rest his fingertips gently over Minghao’s. He turns his head to look at Minghao, who feels breathless when he meets his eyes. They’re shining, as they always are when they’re directed towards him, highlighted by the moonlight beginning to hang over them, long eyelashes fanning delicately across his face. His grin is soft, boyish, and there’s a light blush dusted over his cheeks from perhaps exertion, Minghao thinks, despite them having laid down quite a while ago. 

Mingyu’s gaze seems foreign, something strange twinkling in his eyes, but then, Minghao thinks it’s not quite foreign at all. It’s horribly familiar, it’s the way Mingyu always looks at him, with eternal fondness, a silent promise to stay by Minghao’s side. Yet, for some reason, now it seems suffocating, all too much for Minghao to digest, so he pulls away from the eye contact, and opts to stare up at the sky, close his eyes, and let the moonlight imprint on the back of his eyelids, relishing in the soft sounds of the waves crashing against the sand. He breathes out slowly, as Mingyu pulls his hand closer to his own, intertwining their fingers as they lay together in beautiful, peaceful silence. 

\---

To put it lightly, Mingyu  _ loves  _ his birthday. He has their alarm set for 9 AM, an ungodly hour to be awake for him on any other day, and jolts up like he’d never been asleep in the first place when it goes off. 

“It’s my birthday!” he exclaims, but finds the bed next to him empty. 

Luckily, Minghao  _ loves _ celebrating birthdays. He’s had his own alarm set for 8 AM, preparing a huge stack of birthday pancakes, and matching hats for the two of them, walking into the bedroom with a tray as soon as he hears Mingyu’s shout. Mingyu claps his hand in joy as Minghao sets down the tray next to him, Minghao reaching over to strap the hat onto his head. He kisses the top of Mingyu’s hair gently before he sets it in place.

“Happy birthday, baby,” Minghao grins, and Mingyu flushes around the bite of pancake he’s somehow already managed to shove into his mouth. They eat together as Minghao puts Mingyu’s favorite movie, 10 Things I Hate About You, on in the background. Afterwards, Minghao carries the plates to the kitchens as Mingyu goes to call his parents, the first thing he always does on his birthday, after eating, of course.

A few moments later, Mingyu comes into the kitchen and shoves the phone into Minghao’s ear. “They wanna talk to you,” Mingyu explains after seeing Minghao’s confused expression.

“Ah, hi Mom, hi Dad,” Minghao says in Korean. Mingyu’s parents insisted he address them the way Mingyu does. It always leaves a warm feeling in his chest when he does, and when Mingyu’s mom replies by calling him their son.

“Minghao-yah, you take such good care of our son,” Mingyu’s mom coos in English. “It’s my pleasure, Mom,” he says, earnestly, and she coos again, louder this time, causing him to flush slightly. 

“Thank you for putting him in this world, in my world,” he adds, softly, slightly embarrassed as he feels Mingyu’s gaze burn into the side of his face. Mingyu’s mom sniffles softly, before they say their goodbyes, Minghao handing the phone back to Mingyu, who has a peculiar look on his face, mouth parted in some sort of surprise. He takes the phone wordlessly, and heads back into his room, talking to his mother fondly. His voice is a lot deeper, raspier, catching on the lisp more prominently when he speaks in Korean, Minghao notes, it’s quite pleasant. 

Minghao listens as Mingyu says goodbye to his parents, and picks up calls from their friends. Minghao grins to himself, always the star of the campus. He decides this is the perfect time for him to slip out of the house and go down to grab Mingyu’s cake, the special chocolate cake he buys for Mingyu every single year, specially ordered and decorated from a bakery a few miles from their beach house. 

He returns fifteen minutes later to see Mingyu on the couch, video calling someone, allowing Minghao to stealthily slide into the kitchen and place it in the fridge. It’s not like the cake is much of a surprise, but Minghao always likes to present it that way, and Mingyu always likes to receive it that way. 

He approaches the living room, and sees Jihyo speaking animatedly on Mingyu’s phone screen, Mingyu watching her fondly. Minghao ignores the all too familiar churn in his stomach in favor of trying to force some joy for his best friend. He’s glad Jihyo makes him happy. Of course.

Mingyu eventually notices Minghao and grins up at him, before looking down at his phone apologetically to Jihyo. “Hey, babe, I gotta go, Minghao’s home,” he says, and Jihyo nods in understanding.

“Okay, happy birthday again, I’ll talk to you soon. Enjoy the weekend!” she says, then waves vigorously. “Hi, Minghao! Don’t get him too hyper,” she adds, teasingly. Mingyu tilts his phone in Minghao’s direction, allowing him to wave to her too, before smiling at Jihyo and hanging up the call. 

Mingyu gets off the couch with a huff and stands in front of Minghao, puffing out his chest. “Okay, what’s on the agenda?”

Plenty. Minghao takes Mingyu to their favorite seafood restaurant, ordering him  _ two _ helpings of his favorite shrimp linguine. Minghao is the definition of a typical broke college student, but he doesn’t mind one bit spending his extra savings on his favorite person in the world, feeling utterly fulfilled even after seeing the bill at Mingyu’s face as he scarfs down the pasta. 

Then, they go back to the beach, Minghao deciding to indulge Mingyu for the day by going in the water with him, actually enjoying the feel of the cool water against his skin, perhaps enjoying Mingyu’s smile as he looks tenderly over at Minghao more. 

He watches Mingyu swim slow laps (jock habits die hard) in his own little circle. Mingyu stretches up out of the water, shaking his hair out of his eyes. Out of the corner of his eye, Minghao sees a few teenage girls staring at Mingyu, eyes wide and mouths open, in full, hormonal bliss. Yeah, he can’t really blame them. There’s a few droplets of sweat mixed in with the water, sliding down his deep collarbones and across his defined pectorals, and Minghao longs to reach down and trace his-  _ Jesus fuck.  _

When he goes over to one of the stands to get the two of them snow cones, an older woman approaches Minghao with a smile. “You and your boyfriend are very cute together, dear. He’s quite a catch, I think. Don’t let him go,” she winks, and Minghao tries to splutter out a denial, but she walks away with a sly smirk. Minghao doesn’t know how to feel about it, his stomach giving a strange, not exactly distasteful, twitch at the idea of him and Mingyu in a  _ relationship _ . 

They stay at the beach for another hour, before Minghao is forced to drag Mingyu away to ensure they aren’t late to the next item on the day’s plan. They return to the house, where Minghao tells Mingyu to throw on the  _ night _ outfit he’d instructed Mingyu to pack (that he’d ended up picking for Mingyu, Mingyu whining to him that Minghao has better fashion taste, which is completely true, but Mingyu just didn’t want to do the work. Typical.)

Minghao pulls on his own black jeans and dark blue silk blouse, tousling his hair gently to give it an effortless look, before securing it with a touch of hairspray. He decides to line his eyes, then smudge them slightly, going for somewhat of an edgier allure for the night. He hums in satisfaction as he leaves the bathroom, lounging on the couch, scrolling through Twitter as he waits for Mingyu to get ready.

Mingyu finally emerges from the bedroom, running his fingers through his hair absentmindedly as he makes a noise to Minghao to indicate his presence. Minghao feels his heart catch in his throat as he takes in Mingyu’s appearance. He’s wearing a black longsleeves with the black denim Louis Vuitton jacket he had worked to save up for last summer, paired with black denim jeans that hug the muscles in his legs perfectly. The outfit is simple, but surely effective. Of course, he hasn’t neglected his usual assortment of accessories, three silver ones complimenting the black in his outfit. He’s wearing rings tonight, long, thick fingers adorned with a series of, also, silver bands. Minghao stares at his hands as they run through his hair, some new level of attraction bursting through him. Strange. 

Minghao offers to take pictures of him out on the balcony, capturing the sunset in the back, ignoring the way his heart is  _ throbbing _ seeing Mingyu pose handsomely in front of him. He wordlessly hands Mingyu the phone back, as Mingyu exclaims at the photos Minghao’s taken. “These are great, Minghao!” he says, and Minghao offers a weak smile in response. 

Mingyu is busy editing and posting the pictures to Instagram as Minghao drives them to the bar he was suggested by Soonyoung to try. He also knows one of Mingyu’s favorite rap groups is performing there this weekend, feigning ignorance when Mingyu mentioned it on the ride there. Again, Minghao loves giving surprises, and Mingyu loves receiving them, his eyes lighting up when he registers the name of the bar, and the group’s name on the board out front.

“I love  _ you _ ! You’re the greatest ever,” Mingyu says, pulling Minghao inside the restaurant excitedly, Minghao’s heart doing continuous backflips in his chest at this point. 

They finish their burgers as soon as the group gets on stage, ordering two beers for them as Mingyu faces the stage, his body practically visibly thrumming in anticipation. Minghao smiles fondly, he’s way too cute for his own good. Minghao rarely takes his eyes off Mingyu throughout the set, Mingyu watching intently as the group performs some of his  _ favorite _ songs. 

Towards the end, the group finishes off a song as the leader steps out into the crowd. “Alright, our last song for the night is dedicated to Mingyu, our resident birthday boy. Happy birthday, bro,” he says, pointing to Mingyu, who nearly faints in joy. Good, Minghao thinks, fifty dollars well spent. 

When they get off stage, Mingyu turns to Minghao with a soft grin, eyes quite puppylike, like his owner has just come home with a  _ brand new _ toy. Minghao ruffles his hair gently. “Happy, baby?” Mingyu nods aggressively, pulling Minghao into a tight hug, hand firm against the nape of Minghao’s neck where his hair is beginning to creep down onto. Minghao inhales Mingyu’s inviting cologne scent, and it feels like home, it feels perfect.

“You’re the best person in the world. This was the best birthday ever,” Mingyu whispers against his neck, which he says every year, but Minghao smiles, knowing it’s genuine every time, while silently hoping Mingyu can’t feel the way Minghao’s pulse is going two times faster than it should be.

They get up to leave after Minghao pays the bill, but gets stopped at the door by a guy and two girls stepping in front of Mingyu. Minghao almost scoffs. Can’t get a night of peace, the curses of hanging around a guy who looks like a model off duty 24/7. 

To Minghao’s surprise, or not, upon greater look at him, the guy is the one who speaks. “Hey, um, I was wondering if I could get your number? Or I-G or Snap? I would love to get to know you better,” he says, confidently. Minghao has to give it to him, he’s definitely eager, offering not one, but  _ three _ ways for them to get in contact, and the confidence is surely an attractive factor. But Mingyu rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, looking down at the guy guiltily. Right, Minghao had nearly forgotten about Jihyo completely. 

“Uh, I’m sorry, I’m kinda involved with someone already,” he twists his mouth into a soft smile, the one that makes people give him their hearts just so he can break them, and it obviously affects the guy, who just smiles at Mingyu, endeared with his demeanor. He waves him off.

“Worth a shot. Have a good night, and happy birthday!” he says. Mingyu mumbles a thank you, still smiling. 

“Tried to tell him the hot guys are  _ always _ already taken,” the girl to the right of him says with a smirk as the three of them walk away. Minghao snorts. Very true. 

“Told you they were together. You owe me ten bucks,” the other girl says, almost out of earshot, and Minghao wonders, heart racing, if Mingyu picked it up. But the older doesn’t react in any peculiar way, just opens the door to head out to the car, Minghao trailing behind him.

“Let’s get wasted!” Mingyu calls as he climbs into the passenger’s seat. Minghao grins, mentally sharing the sentiment.

They get into the house, Minghao darting to the kitchen to pull out the copious amounts of alcohol he’s packed, far too much for two people. But if there’s one thing Minghao and Mingyu can do, it’s drink. And drink they do. Minghao puts on Lord of the Rings, and they commence their annual drinking game to the movies, practically having each moment where they need to drink memorized.

“Drink, bitch, Orlando Bloom looked  _ so  _ hot there!” Mingyu slurs, downing a shot of his own. This particular rule is the most ambiguous one of them all: Take a shot whenever you feel the urge to give Legolas the best head of his life. The two of them end up drinking every single time he comes into the frame. They’re going to get alcohol poisoning, Minghao thinks.

Halfway through The Two Towers, Minghao realizes they’re far more wasted than they usually are at this point, Mingyu leaning onto his lap, laughing at absolutely nothing, movie ignored as the empty bottles lay deserted around them. Mingyu’s head is now fully in between Minghao’s legs, blinking up at him for a few moments, before breaking into another series of giggles.

He’s too cute, Minghao thinks, watching as Mingyu curls himself up to cuddle more of his body against Minghao and in his lap. Minghao cradles Mingyu’s cheeks in his hands, watching as Mingyu’s eyes flutter shut, eyelashes fanning delicately across his flushed skin. Minghao strokes a thumb across his left cheek, and Mingyu makes a noise of contentment, shifting slightly to settle in his spot.

“Did you have a good day, honey?” Minghao asks softly, not nearly as affected by the alcohol as Mingyu, at least he thinks so, because that leaves him unable to explain why every cell in his body wants him to lean down and graze his lips against Mingyu’s fuller ones. Mingyu nods slowly, clearly drifting off into sleep.

“No one treats me like you do. I love you with everything in me,” Mingyu says drowsily, and each word causes another throb of Minghao’s heart. It’s said so gingerly, with such warmth and affection, that Minghao feels like he’s drowning in honey. The way Mingyu says  _ I love you _ is so genuine, like the rest of him, Minghao wants to hear it from him all the time.

It hits him then, like the cool waves of the Pacific washing off some sort of disguise he’s been wearing all this time. He’s in love with Mingyu, probably has been for a very long time.

His stomach churns, everything bunches up into a billion knots as he lets the feeling, the truth of being in love with Mingyu Kim cascade over him like a tsunami crashing into his life. He stares down at the boy sleeping in his lap, feeling so much, so much helpless and desperate adoration for him, for everything he does and everything he is. He wants him in every single way, wants to give Mingyu all of him, all of his heart, boldly and without fear. It makes so much sense, it all makes so much sense. He’s been head over heels for Mingyu since he watched him expel his guts into some stranger’s toilet their freshman year. 

He mindlessly brushes a few of the strands of hair falling in front of Mingyu’s face out of the way, before pulling his hand abruptly away, like he’s been burned, realizing how tender the action was, how tender every interaction he has with Mingyu is. 

He thinks back to the bar, the way Mingyu mentioned to the guy how he was involved with someone else, and holy shit? Is that the reason for everything? The reason why Mingyu confronted him that morning after the party, why Mingyu went distant after he started seeing Jihyo, why Wonwoo and Seungcheol have deemed him Public Enemy #1? Because they were worried Minghao would  _ sabotage _ the relationship, because  _ Mingyu _ was worried he’d do that? Does Mingyu  _ know _ ? Did he figure it out somehow before Minghao? It wouldn’t be surprising, Minghao often thinks Mingyu knows him better than he knows his own self.

Minghao quickly starts to panic, trying to keep his movements to a minimum as to not rouse Mingyu, who’s still deep in slumber, completely oblivious to the deep internal panic Minghao is having. Mingyu can never know, Minghao decides, given that he doesn’t already. He’s sure some of their other friends have already figured it out, which would explain the pattern of behavior over the past few months, but he’s going to track them down and beg them not to tell him. Mingyu’s finally in a relationship, and judging by the way he just  _ looks _ at Jihyo, Minghao can tell he’s happy. And if Mingyu’s happy, he’s happy. That’s all that matters.

Mingyu begins to snore, and Minghao feels somewhat frustrated that he finds even  _ that _ to be endearing. He shakes his head, and gently pulls Mingyu off his lap, placing a blanket over his resting figure. He walks over to one of the deserted bedrooms, closing the door behind him as he climbs into the bed to break it in, feeling strangely empty without Mingyu next to him, body warmth completely pressed up against his. He lets out a deep sigh, accepting the inevitability of this sacrifice. Some parts of their friendship would have to change, in order for Minghao to preserve his secret, he reasons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jesus. finally. right???? a purely self indulgent chapter of gyuhao fluff <3 my best boys. 
> 
> the worst is yet to come, stay tuned for more angst. actually, you won't have to since the next chapter is right there HEHEHE ENJOY!!!!
> 
> again sorry for mistakes!!!! i do not proofread well.....
> 
> *additional notes*
> 
> \- [this](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EUmQyvaUwAEvJ5B?format=jpg&name=medium) is the mingyu look from the birthday night. screams +++ mingyu wearing chains i want to cry @ seventeen stylists pls pls make it happen!!!!  
> \- minghao drives after drinking one beer but he's not terribly intoxicated but still. IT IS UNSAFE. DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE EVVERRR! this is fiction!  
> \- i play this lotr drinking game with my friends and we too do the legolas rule. bc orlando bloom is FINE!
> 
> hope you enjoyed!!!! proceed~~


	3. three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He briefly considers that what he’s doing to Mingyu is what Mingyu did to him not a month ago, but Minghao thinks he has a valid reason. This is for the sake of Mingyu, their friendship, for the entire friend group. Minghao has to do this, because the more time spent with Mingyu, especially doing the things they do together, threatens for Minghao to fall even further into his hole of Mingyu Kim. Someone, he frequently reminds himself, is unattainable. For the greater good of society, Minghao must get over this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a lot goes on. enjoy!!!! 
> 
> cw: some sexual content?? it's pretty Non explicit but it is there! and they are both under the influence, and in reality it would not be Good at all because they are too drunk to give proper consent ALWAYS make sure consent is given kidz 
> 
> +++ there's a brief moment of potential infidelity but it's immediately cleared up. there is no cheating in this!!!!

“You want me to  _ what _ ?” Jeonghan asks, eyebrows raised, nearly dropping his coffee in surprise. Minghao lets out a sigh. This is his fourth time repeating this to the older.

“Please, don’t tell him, I can’t mess things up,” Minghao says, softly. He realizes Jeonghan has to know of Minghao’s feelings for Mingyu, because Jeonghan knows absolutely everything about everyone in their friend group, and it would most definitely explain the coded things he’s been saying to Minghao. “And please tell anyone who might know as well not to either.”

Jeonghan tilts his head in confusion, before giving Minghao a sad look. “You think it would  _ mess  _ things up?” he asks. Minghao nods slowly, thinking that idea is fairly rational. Not too many people take their best friend of three years having romantic feelings for them lightly. It could destroy their friendship for good, and Minghao truly wouldn’t know what to do with himself if that were to happen. 

“Minghao, I-” he pauses, looking like there’s just so much he wants to say. “Okay, I’ll respect your decisions, but for your own good, for both of you, I deeply suggest you tell him. More could come out of it than you think.” Minghao swallows, feeling uneasy about the desperation on Jeonghan’s face. He was under the impression that him being in love with Mingyu was the big realization he’d needed to have, but Jeonghan’s expression is clearly telling him there’s more to the story, and it’s wholly unnerving. 

Minghao doesn’t go back to the apartment after parting ways with Jeonghan. It’s Friday night, so he shoots a quick text to Mingyu letting him know he’ll be missing movie night. Again. After realizing he’s in love with Mingyu, distancing himself from the older has become a far more difficult ordeal, every bone in his body aching to be near Mingyu, listening to him speak, enjoy his presence, do whatever with him, put all of his energy into giving him the moon and all the stars, like he deserves. He’s in a lot deeper than he initially thought.

He briefly considers that what he’s doing to Mingyu is what Mingyu did to him not a month ago, but Minghao thinks he has a valid reason. This is for the sake of Mingyu, their friendship, for the entire friend group. Minghao  _ has _ to do this, because the more time spent with Mingyu, especially doing the things they do together, threatens for Minghao to fall even further into his hole of Mingyu Kim. Someone, he frequently reminds himself, is unattainable. For the greater good of society, Minghao must get over this. 

Which is proving to be near impossible, Minghao realizes as the weeks go on, no matter how focused his efforts are. He realizes he needs to ignore Mingyu in a much less obvious way than Mingyu did to him, in order to avoid all possible confrontations. Yet, he knows Mingyu is getting suspicious, as Minghao cancels several consecutive movie nights, has dinner with him less and less often, and gives shorter responses when they speak. Minghao doesn’t mean to go that far, but with every interaction with Mingyu comes another churn of his stomach, another pang in his heart that’s all too familiar. He wonders how he didn’t figure this all out  _ much _ earlier on. 

He still goes to all their games though, because, of course he adores supporting Mingyu and the rest of his friends. They win the semifinals, albeit with some difficulty, Johnny being out with a broken leg, and the finals are scheduled for about a month later. Mingyu cranks up his gym frequency, letting out all his stress by trying to somehow build even  _ more _ muscle mass, if that were even possible, going on runs every morning for good measure.

  
Which is the most unfortunate thing in the world for Minghao, who is greeted by the sight of Mingyu half naked, chugging a bottle of water (some droplets always fucking miss his mouth and dribble down his chest) every _ single _ morning when gets up for breakfast. It’s no less shocking each day, the sight as mouth watering as the day before. It’s quite foul actually, Minghao thinks, his fucking…  _ tits _ are out at eight o'clock in the morning. Way too early for that shit. 

It doesn’t help that he’s starting to post  _ thirst traps _ on Instagram, for what benefit, Minghao doesn’t know. A constant reminder to everyone in the world that he is painfully out of reach. Cruel. 

Jihyo never comments anything directly flirtatious, the way the  _ rest _ of his comments are. Instead, she leaves teasing remarks, little sarcastic ones, which are somehow ten times more flirtatious than any rendition of “You’re hot” and emoji combination. Mingyu does this too under her posts, on all of her (jaw droppingly gorgeous) selfies within minutes of posting. 

They’re getting more serious, Minghao realizes, along with the fact that he simply can’t help but feel jealous. His entire body freezes up with guilt whenever he sees the two of them together and his immediate reaction is not quite friendly. It’s unfair of him, unfair to Jihyo, unfair to Mingyu too, who have literally done nothing wrong to receive such animosity. 

Hence, the avoiding. It’s best for everyone, Minghao rationalizes firmly for the billionth time as he lays in bed, the space next to him glaringly empty, which is usually occupied by his clingy giant of a best friend. Also known as: the love of his life. Jesus. 

Missing Mingyu has become a constant in his life, despite the older being just next door. It’s not like they’ve stopped seeing each other or talking completely, not like they did when Mingyu was ignoring him. But it’s the knowledge that he’s making a conscious effort to be with Mingyu less than he usually would is causing his heart to ache even more, ache so deeply to go into Mingyu’s bedroom and hold him tight for the rest of the night, the rest of their  _ lives _ .

The thought hits him so deeply, the idea that he truly wants to keep Mingyu by his side forever, romantic or not. Mingyu  _ is _ the love of his life, he doesn’t think it would ever be possible for him to love someone with such fervor, with everything in him. He knows, he’s always known that getting over Mingyu was not an option. Mingyu is so loveable, born to be loved, walks planet Earth leaving people head over heels for him in his wake. Minghao will love him in this lifetime and in the next. And the next. Forever, and ever. He just desperately has to ensure Mingyu never realizes it. He wants Mingyu by his side until he takes his last breath, again, romantic, or not. Sacrifices always have to be made, for the greater good. 

\---

The massive pre-spring break party is an annual affair, always the Friday before school lets out for spring break. It’s held at the biggest frat at the college, and Minghao’s friend group always secures invites, courtesy of the few members of the frat who play on the soccer team. They always attend, a last hurrah before they all go home for the week. 

Minghao is getting ready at Wonwoo and Soonyoung’s, who are currently bickering over Soonyoung’s choice of attire.

“I am  _ not _ going to be seen with someone dressed head to toe in fucking tiger print, Soonyoung,” Wonwoo spits out, gesturing wildly to Soonyoung’s outfit; tiger printed button down, slacks, and Converse. Wonwoo had managed to get him to let go of the tiger ear headband he was initially wearing, but Soonyoung had put it back on in rebellion after the fight picked up.

“You never support my interests!” Soonyoung cries, storming into the bedroom, as Wonwoo follows him, yelling out in denial before the door closes behind them. 

Minghao rolls his eyes, sipping absentmindedly on the beer Wonwoo had got out for him, gaze trained on the messily packed duffle bags across the floor. The seniors had planned a trip to the same beach house Mingyu and Minghao had been at a few weeks prior, wanting to spend their last spring break together. Minghao pities Joshua for having to spend the week with three couples, knowing he’ll have to take the couch and pack headphones. Although he’s noticed some  _ strange _ interactions between the older, Jeonghan, and Seungcheol over the past few days, similar tension he’d witnessed between Taehyung, Jimin and Jeongguk. Minghao is interested in  _ that _ development. 

Joshua had also agreed to be designated driver for the night for their smaller group, allowing Minghao to finally indulge in getting drunk, looking to take his mind off any Mingyu related thoughts for the night. Mingyu, on the other hand, was going with Seokmin and the kids. And Jihyo, Minghao presumes. It’d actually been quite a while since they properly spoke, Mingyu coming home awfully late the night before.

Minghao’s attempts at subtly ignoring Mingyu have been thrown out the window. Now he’s gone to full out avoidance, physically unable to even look at Mingyu without his entire body reacting in a way that would surely give him away. He knows Mingyu has noticed, anticipates a confrontation, an excuse already stashed in the back of his mind. 

Finally, Joshua, Jeonghan and Seungcheol show up (Minghao takes note of the fresh hickies adorned on all  _ three _ of their necks. Curious, indeed.), Seungcheol and Jeonghan both pointedly drunk already. Seungcheol throws his arm around Minghao’s shoulders, much to Minghao’s surprise, and grins widely at him. 

“We are going to get you wasted tonight, Hao!” he exclaims, and Jeonghan cheers in agreement. Soonyoung and Wonwoo shuffle out of the bedroom a few moments later, Soonyoung devoid of any tiger print clothing, Wonwoo looking heavily satisfied with himself. 

Seungcheol most certainly stays true to his promise, dragging him to the makeshift bar at the frat house to line up shots for the six of them. Minghao downs five with a grimace, but ignores the taste as he goes for another, a single purpose in mind. Feeling significantly tipsy already, Minghao excuses himself from the seniors, searching out Seokmin.

The house is  _ packed _ , three beer pong games going on in different rooms, music reverberating through Minghao’s entire body. Sober, Minghao would hate it, but the alcohol that’s starting to  _ really _ affect him dilutes his senses, allowing him to fall into a comfortable bliss. He finally sees the familiar top of Seokmin’s head, of course, surrounded by a large crowd of people. Seokmin’s eyes light up when he sees Minghao walking over to him, throwing an arm over his shoulders excitedly, breath reeking of alcohol.

Minghao lets Seokmin drag him into some random drinking game, and ends up drinking two Solo cups of whatever devilish concoction Momo Hirai makes for him. A huge mistake, as Minghao can  _ hear _ his speech getting more slurred, steps getting uneven. Somehow, Minghao gets his drunk ass roped into a conversation with Jaehyun, one of the players who’s also in the frat, walking around the house like he’s on cloud nine. 

“Hey, by the way, have you seen Mingyu?” Minghao asks him, trying to be as nonchalant as possible. 

“Gyu? He’s probably making out with Jihyo in one of the rooms. Hope it’s not mine,” Jaehyun says with a laugh, and Minghao gives a short, forced laugh of his own before excusing himself, trying his absolute best not to throw up his past five meals onto the floor. 

Good, Minghao thinks, it’s good that he hasn’t seen Mingyu yet, it’s better this way. Keep the distance, he reasons, seeking out Hansol, who pulls him into taking another round of shots. Another huge mistake. 

Minghao postulates he has roughly five stages of drunkenness. Stage one, tipsy off something like a glass of wine, perfectly comfortable and relaxed. Stage two, tipsy, but borderlining on actually drunk. Stage three, decently drunk, still able to walk straight, and keep his inner thoughts to himself. This is where he usually stops, where he should’ve stopped, after that first  _ sip _ of Momo’s monster juice. Stage four, wasted, tripping over himself and everything around him, tempted to call all of his exes and then give the entire party a strip show on the dining table. 

Stage five, absolute disaster, where he’s at  _ now _ . Making a move to go upstairs and search every single bedroom in this big ass fucking house to find Mingyu, pull Jihyo off of him, and have him for himself, confess to everyone there that he is just completely, wholeheartedly in love with his best friend. Because, why not?

“Whoa, whoa, Minghao, where are you going?” Minghao hears a familiar voice say as he makes his trek up the stairs, barely being able to get on the first step. He turns to see Mingyu reaching out to grab his arm and gently pull him down to ground level, eyes filled with endearing concern. Minghao is too, too drunk for this. Nothing in his mind is telling him not to pull down Mingyu into an ardent kiss.

“Looking for you,” Minghao says, honestly, and Mingyu gives a nervous laugh. He doesn’t look too drunk, but Minghao knows otherwise, his eyes glazed over slightly, the way his body is leaning towards Minghao seemingly out of his own accord, breaths slightly chopped and heavy, cheeks flushed. He looks gorgeous, especially in the simple t-shirt and ripped blue jeans he’s wearing, adorned in the same collection of chains and rings.

“I’m right here, Hao,” he replies softly. And that he is, he’s right there, right in front of Minghao, no one else around, just the two of them at the steps, staring heavily at each other, neither one of them refusing to break eye contact.

Mingyu lets out a soft, sharp gasp as Minghao leans in, tilting his head slightly to close the distance. Close the gap he’s created over the past few weeks between the two of them, giving in to the urge he’s had since the day they met. Mingyu’s lips are as soft, beautifully soft. He parts them obediently as Minghao goes to snake his tongue into Mingyu’s mouth, reaching out to grasp Mingyu’s face, holding onto him tenderly as he guides the kiss, Mingyu pliantly kissing back. They’ve kissed before, numerous times, but not like this, not with such intensity. 

Minghao pulls back, and Mingyu’s eyes cross as he follows the line of spit that connects their lips. He’s too cute, too cute, so cute, which is why Minghao pulls him into another chaste kiss, before pulling him the stairs, all rational thinking thrown out the window.

They walk down the hallway, hand in hand, before Mingyu opens one of the doors on the left. “Jaehyun’s, he won’t mind,” he reasons, softly, before pulling Minghao into another rough kiss, clumsily closing the door behind them. 

Mingyu is messy, puppy nature overcoming him when he’s drunk and horny. His kisses are desperate, trying to escalate the situation, as Minghao does the opposite by slowing them down, kissing back steadily, without demand, like they have all the time in the world. He cradles the back of Mingyu’s neck, feeling the soft hair on his nape brush against his palm. He pulls Mingyu onto his lap as they lounge on the bed, Mingyu eagerly beginning to grind down in time with their kisses, making Minghao throw his head back with a groan, giving Mingyu the opportunity to nip gingerly at Minghao’s exposed neck, canines sharp against the sensitive skin.

Wordlessly, Mingyu holds Minghao’s eyes as he shuffles off his lap and onto his knees in front of Minghao, who sits up on the bed. He stares up at Minghao, eyes pleading, questioning, hand already gently resting on his belt. Minghao nods, eyes wide in anticipation, because, jesus fuck, is this happening? He’s still drunk enough for everything to be a haze, more than aware he could very well be hallucinating all of this, the whole scenario too good to be true. 

Heaven is a place on Earth with you, Minghao thinks, as Mingyu takes him into his mouth, perhaps a little too eagerly. He looks like a man starved, ministrations insistent and purposeful. His eyes flutter open, and he looks up at Minghao, who lets out a stuttered moan at the sight of Mingyu’s bright eyes, flushed cheeks, tousled hair, mouth stuffed full, on his knees for him, for  _ Minghao _ . The possessiveness that curls from his head to toe causes him to push his hips forward experimentally, Mingyu just taking it with ease. 

He chases his release like that, spills on Mingyu’s tongue, who’s still looking up at him with an absolutely sinful expression. Some of it manages to dribble onto his lips, and Minghao runs his thumb on the excess, pushing the digit into Mingyu’s mouth, who suckles on it eagerly. It’s too much for Minghao, senses on overdrive at this point.

“Look at you, pretty baby,” Minghao says softly, making Mingyu whine under the praise, blushing gorgeously. Minghao yearns for his film camera. “C’mere.”

He pulls Mingyu back on his lap gracelessly, takes him into his hand and works him to completion slowly, measuredly, kissing him deeply as Mingyu whines and moans into his mouth. The sounds Minghao’s hand makes are  _ vulgar _ , echoing throughout the whole room. Getting closer to his breaking point, Mingyu pulls away from the kiss, leaning his forehead against Minghao’s shoulder, making no effort to stay silent. Minghao is grateful for it, he eagerly drinks up every single one of Mingyu’s noises, basks in the loud cry he lets out as he spills over Minghao’s hand. 

Minghao leans in to kiss him again, passionately, like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do, and he wouldn’t mind if it was. After cleaning up, they curl up in the bed (sorry, Jaehyun), Mingyu’s arms around Minghao’s waist like it hadn’t been three weeks since they last slept like this. As far as Minghao was concerned, it hadn’t, drunkenly content with Mingyu holding close to him as he drifts off into sleep in pure bliss.

\---

Minghao awakens to the sound of Mingyu crashing around the room, stumbling to pull his jeans on in a haste to leave the room. He groans and stretches his arms, and Mingyu startles, staring at Minghao with his eyes wide, like he’d been caught.

“Oh, you’re up, um, I was just going to head back,” Mingyu says, already making a move towards the door.

“What time is it? Wait, Mingyu, don’t  _ leave _ .” Minghao calls, Mingyu pausing uneasily in the doorway, looking over his shoulder with an indiscernible expression. “Let’s ride back together, save some gas,” he tries to joke, but Mingyu’s expression twists up in displeasure. 

“I have to leave, for my parents, like in an hour, so,” Mingyu says.

“Your parents live twenty minutes away, I think they’ll be fine.” Mingyu shakes his head insistently. 

The alcohol is fully worn off now, the reality of last night’s events washing over Minghao, causing him to begin to panic. Everything he’s tried so carefully to do has been ruined, Mingyu surely has to know by now, it’s why he’s so eager to get out of the door. He’s ruined everything, Minghao thinks, heart racing at seeing Mingyu’s uncomfortable expression. 

“Minghao, I, I need some space, okay?” Mingyu says, letting out a deep sigh. Minghao’s heart is threatening to fall out of his chest, here it comes, of course. “Last night, it, it was a mistake. I shouldn’t have roped you into something you wouldn’t do sober. So I’m sorry for that.” Minghao tilts his head in confusion, trying to make sense of Mingyu’s words, curious at the way Mingyu’s expression seems almost bitter.

Then it clicks, Minghao had completely, again, forgotten about Jihyo. His body floods with guilt, letting out a sharp inhale. “Fuck, I totally forgot. Are you going to tell her?”

Mingyu gives a look of confusion of his own, before his face contorts in realization and he sighs with exasperation. “Jihyo and I decided to be just friends about a week ago. I’m not a fucking cheater, Minghao.” Minghao winces at the bite in his tone. He hadn’t even realized they’d broken up, stomach twisting at the revelation, combined with the sadness that pangs through him at being so disconnected from Mingyu’s life. 

“Then, then what’s wrong? It’s not like we haven’t fooled around before, we’ll just move on,” Minghao tries to reason, despite his heart screaming in denial. It’s not what he wants, he wants to never move on, wants to have Mingyu like that every night, have every part of him. Yet, it’s clear from the way Mingyu’s face falls that he most definitely does not want the same with Minghao.

“That’s the problem,” is all Mingyu says, in a near whisper, before turning around to leave the room.

And because he’s completely lost all critical thinking capabilities, because the only thing he can think of is that he needs to get Mingyu to stay, Minghao shouts: “I’m in love with you!” at Mingyu’s receding figure. Mingyu pauses, before whipping around urgently.

“What did you say?” he says, narrowing his eyes. Minghao is ready for God to take him now. But, there’s no going back, he’s thrown it out there, and it’s only forward. He clears his throat before looking up to meet Mingyu’s piercing gaze.

“I’m in love with you,” Minghao repeats, softly, earnestly. 

The series of emotions that evolve through Mingyu’s face could be the synapsis for an excellent short film, Minghao thinks, wishing he had his phone out, as Mingyu goes from confusion, to hope, to desperation, to, strangely enough, anger within the span of a second. 

Much to Minghao’s surprise, Mingyu scoffs. “Fuck you,” he says, and Minghao furrows his eyebrows. Well, that was not what he was expecting.

“Actually, fuck you. Wonwoo hyung  _ said _ you were dragging me along, playing with my feelings, but I defended you every time, because I really thought you were just trying to let me down gently, that you didn’t know the best way to go about doing it. But he was right, you are just fucking with me, and it’s  _ mean _ , it’s so mean, Minghao,” Mingyu grits out, but his expression is transforming to more sadness than anger, and Minghao thinks he sees tears welling in his eyes. 

“Was it fun? For you? To reject me, then keep making me think I have a chance? Then you ghost me, then  _ sleep _ with me, then pull, this shit? Am I really supposed to believe that you’re in  _ love _ with me? I may have been a dumbass this far, but I’m not completely stupid.” Mingyu scoffs again, angry tears streaming down his face. Minghao doesn’t know what to say, words barely being processed in his head from the sheer weight they carry. Mingyu shakes his head at Minghao’s silence.

“Don’t fucking call me,” he says, before storming out of the room, slamming the door shut.

Minghao sits there, upright on the bed for what feels like a century, before the door cracks open, Jaehyun’s head peeking out, holding out a closed fist. 

“Um, hey, bro, good for you and all, I will most definitely ask you to bump this, but, d’you think I could have my room back now?” 

Minghao buries his head in his hands with a groan, head pounding with migraine. Everything was absolutely fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so SORRRYYY i love them so much i promise it gets better T___T also . sorry jaehyun LMAO
> 
> almost done!!! enjoy the next one <3


	4. four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s true, he simply does not know how to live a life completely devoid of Mingyu, everything feels wrong and incomplete, and he doesn’t know what to do about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we made it, y'all.

Minghao feels like he’s been transported back to high school, moping around his childhood home with a rain cloud over his head. After the third day of Mingyu ignoring his texts, Minghao turns his phone off and shoves it into his desk alongside the smushed shameful remains of failed tests and half completed homework assignments. He’s decided to go full hermit, spending all his days and nights eating his dad’s cooking and watching old Chinese dramas with his mom. 

His parents have obviously noticed something amiss, shooting each other concerned glances whenever Minghao does something particularly depressing, like freeze up and dart up to his bedroom halfway through dinner when his dad mentions that Mingyu texted him about some Chinese dish he made the other day. Mingyu is texting his _dad_ but not him? The motherfucker. 

But neither of them say anything, knowing better than to confront Minghao when he’s in this _state_ , which would only result in him further isolating himself. So, Mingyu Kim has become a forbidden topic in the Xu household. _Much_ to his mother’s displeasure, who makes pointed, yearning glances over at the numerous photos of Minghao and Mingyu around the house when the two of them are on the couch, always turning back to Minghao with a deep sigh. Minghao just thinks it’s unhealthy how attached his mother is to his best friend. He even notices his mother somehow got a hold of Mingyu’s high school senior pictures and put one next to Minghao’s own on the fridge. Jesus.

Minghao is disrupted one day, four hours into his hardcore Geometry Dash run, by a knock on his door. He groans in irritation as the block crashes into one of the spikes, and sets his phone down aggressively. “ _What_?” he calls. 

The door opens to reveal a frowning Junhui, leaning against the doorframe as he shakes his head, taking in the sight of Minghao’s room. Minghao does not need this _judgement_ from anyone today, especially not Junhui, who is supposed to be in LA with his surprisingly clingy boyfriend and the rest of their older friends.

“Get your crusty ass up, we’re getting food,” Junhui says, turning around to go into the living room, presumably to charm the life out of Minghao’s mother. And his father, somehow. 

Junhui takes him to the dumpling spot they used to go to every day after school in high school. Junhui’s parents live just a few blocks down from Minghao’s, and the two were practically raised together, Minghao feeling utterly devastated when Junhui went to college a year before, leaving him all alone in their small ass town in Northern California.

Junhui moans around a bite of dumpling. “Good as ever,” he says, grinning up at the daughter of the owner of the restaurant, who they’ve known since they were kids. She blushes profusely as Minghao rolls his eyes. Trust Junhui to flirt with anything that moves.

The older continues to make small talk, acting like his appearance at their hometown is absolutely normal and expected. Minghao sighs in exasperation, leaning back in his seat, crossing his arms. “What are you doing here?” he says in Mandarin, for no reason, as none of the people around them are speaking English either.

“Well, I wanted to have a nice meal first but, since you’re so _eager_ ,” Junhui says, dramatically putting down his chopsticks. “To see my cute little pseudo brother, make sure he hasn’t died, of course.” Minghao scoffs.

“Right here, very much alive. So you drove eight hours, just because I haven’t responded to your texts in a few days?” Minghao says. 

“I also heard through the grapevine, also known as Jeonghan Yoon, that you ambushed poor Mingyu with a love confession.” Minghao groans. “Hao Hao, I thought I taught you better than to scream confessions at people. Especially after drunk hookups. Didn’t you learn anything from my Powerpoint presentations in high school?” No, he did not, he thinks, glaring at Junhui, hoping the older picks up all the horrendous curses he’s mentally directing towards him.

“Good thing I made a new one!” Junhui exclaims, sliding his phone across the table. Minghao reads the title, bold and in pink lettering: _So, you destroyed your relationship with your best friend._ Minghao kicks Junhui under the table, who lets out a small yelp in response, before aggressively pushing the phone back.

“Fuck you, I’m not looking at that.” Junhui gasps. 

“Even after I spent _fifteen_ fucking minutes in the Target parking lot putting it together? I’m hurt, Hao.”

“ _Especially_ after that. Go back to LA, Jun. Some things are unsalvageable, I recognize a lost cause when I see one, and you, and whoever encouraged you to come out here should too,” Minghao says, memories of Mingyu’s hurt expression burning in the back of his head like a constant reminder of what he’s lost. Junhui shakes his head, expression clearly frustrated, obviously not ready to give this up yet.

Junhui and his parents end up having dinner at Minghao’s house that night, the environment comforting as he indulges in the familiar tastes of Junhui’s mom’s cooking. He lets Junhui’s parents coo and coddle him, the way they did when Minghao was a small kid. Sometimes, all one needs is a taste of home, Minghao thinks, realizing how truly homesick he’d been feeling. 

When their parents shoo them off to Minghao’s room (so they can get drunk and gossip about the other families in the neighborhood), Minghao feels the familiar feeling of regret set in as Junhui closes the door behind him, eyes trained on Minghao in determination.

“Okay, here’s the plan-” Junhui starts, but Minghao holds up a hand.

“No, no, there’s no _plan_ . I’m not going to do anything, especially not some shit you and Jeonghan concocted. I ruined everything, Jun, just leave me alone so I can try to start accepting it.” Junhui furrows his eyebrows. “Being in love with someone who doesn’t love you back is enough, but them knowing about it too is too much. Plus, Mingyu doesn’t even believe me, for some reason, which would be good, except he seemed _mad_ about it. It’s too confusing, I just, I just want to leave it.”

Junhui’s lips part, like he’s not exactly sure how to respond to Minghao, not sure what part of the statement to get into first. “Who doesn’t love you back?” is what he chooses to ask. Minghao scoffs.

“Well, yeah,” he says, like it’s painfully obvious, which, he thinks it is. But Junhui, for once in his life, is rendered speechless, always beginning to start a sentence before swallowing it down with a sigh. He’s now pacing through Minghao’s bedroom, internal conflict expressed on his exterior.

“Shit, I, I don’t know if I should tell you this. I mean, we all just assumed you knew, it was pretty hard not to tell. Just thought that your idea of handling it was ignoring it. It all makes sense now, that I think about, but Jesus, Hao, you don’t know?” Junhui rambles, finishing off the final question with a look in disbelief at Minghao. Minghao groans loudly, and flops backward onto the bed, digging his hands into his hair.

“Know _what_ ? What do I not know? What has everyone been keeping from me that I _should have figured out by now_?” he exclaims, far too loudly.

Junhui wrings his fingers together for a few more moments, before he lets out a deep sigh and looks up at Minghao. “Minghao, Mingyu has been in love with you since your freshman year,” he says, slowly. “We, _he,_ always thought you knew, and just didn’t want to talk about it. And, he tried to tell you, a few months ago before he started dating Jihyo, but he said you told him you just wanted to be friends.” 

Minghao lets the words wash over him, the information just unable to penetrate his mind, bouncing off like a bird trying to get into a house through the closed glass door. 

“We also sort of knew you had feelings for him too, that you just didn’t want to be in a relationship, or that you just hadn’t figured it out, that you liked him. Sometimes, we even figured you two had gotten together already, like when you wore his jersey to the game. Seriously, how did you think you were doing that in just a _friend_ way? You are an enigma, Minghao Xu. It escapes me how you never realized he’s hopelessly in love with you. You call him pet names, you’re together all the time, you sleep in the same bed, you _makeout_ at pretty much every party, and I don’t know if you realize this, but you compare _every_ guy you date to Mingyu. It’s sickening.”

“But, but, Jihyo,” is all Minghao can say, uselessly.

“Yeah, he did that to try and move on from you, after you finally verbally rejected him. Didn’t work very well. Although, I think she was only with him to get over her ex, Sana, you know her, they dated for ages.” Nothing is processing in Minghao’s brain, only focused on the fact that _Mingyu loves him_ , somehow.

“I never rejected him, though?” Minghao says, honestly. He’s sure he would’ve realized if Mingyu had fucking _confessed_ to him.

“Yes, you did,” Junhui says so slowly it sounds like he’s talking to a kindergartner, not a 21 year old. Minghao _feels_ like a kindergartner, lost and confused in the world that is starting to seem far too big for him, wanting to do nothing other than fingerpaint and take naps. “That day, after the party.”

_Holy shit_ . The memories come flooding back, the way Mingyu had looked at him, full of hope, words dripping with honesty and fondness. The way he’d looked at him after Minghao had called him his best _friend_ , the way Mingyu had treated him for weeks after. Of course, of course.

“I don’t know if I’m reading it all wrong, but, sometimes it seems like, like you feel the same,” Mingyu had said, spilling his heart out to Minghao, who completely missed every message he was trying to relay. Minghao wants to cry, wants to drive back to LA and whisk Mingyu into his arms and tell him he loves him again, more fervently, more gracefully, wants to do anything to get Mingyu to believe him.

And everything really does make sense, the way Wonwoo and Seungcheol had been treating him, how Jeonghan had so passionately urged him to just talk to Mingyu, how Mingyu had thought Minghao was just playing with his feelings. They’d all thought he knew, all this time.

He feels a little hurt, that his friends, that _Mingyu_ , would think Minghao would be capable of such cruelty, but he does see now, how Mingyu’s feelings were all too obvious. Mingyu loves so hard, with everything inside of him, wears his heart on his sleeve with pride. Minghao’s hurt transforms into joy, into elation, that that big heart is all his. Or, he’s hoping it still is.

Then, somewhat against his own accord, Minghao bursts into tears, sobbing loudly, uncontrollably.

Junhui jumps in alarm before running over to the bed, and encasing Minghao in his arms. Minghao leans into the warmth, lets Junhui cradle his head and stroke through his hair gently. He’s reminded of the nights in his sophomore year of high school, when he was starting to realize the changes he was going through, the feelings he was experiencing towards people he wasn’t supposed to be having them for, Junhui holding him in his bed, letting him cry out all the guilt, all the fear, murmuring reassurances of support. He does the same now, whispers placating little things. 

“I, I messed everything up,” Minghao says, voice breaking on another sob. Junhui shakes his head.

“No, no you didn’t. I promise you. That boy loves you way too much.” And God, Minghao hopes that’s true. Because he doesn’t know how to live a life without Mingyu Kim, and he doesn’t want to have to start.

\---

Minghao is curled up in bed, flipping through some of the pictures from his film camera he’d gotten developed that morning. Most of them, of course, are of Mingyu, and Minghao brushes his thumb over Mingyu’s face in the image fondly, the memories heartwarming to him. There’s the picture of Mingyu driving down to Palm Springs, face turned to the road, the slope of his nose, the curve of his jawline, the arc of his lips all gorgeous. Minghao longs for his presence, yearns to hear his voice, can’t wait to get back to LA and see him again.

His phone rings, and he winces at the ringtone. No one calls him but his parents, so he picks it up hesitantly, curiously. It’s Mingyu’s mom, the contact name being his home phone. He furrows his eyebrows in confusion, before slowly hitting accept. 

“Hello? Mom?” Minghao says. He hears sniffling on the other end, and his heart begins to pound in alarm.

“Minghao-yah, it’s good to hear your voice,” she says, wetly, giving a few more weak sniffles. He’s full on panicking now, thinking of all the possible things that could’ve gone wrong, thinking of Mingyu, Mingyu, Mingyu. 

“Is everything okay?” he asks. “Is Mingyu okay?” Pause. Minghao thinks his mother is either shaking her head or nodding, before she realizes Minghao can’t see her.

“Yes, yes, he’s, he’s _okay_ ,” she says, and Minghao lets out a sigh of relief, but takes note of the way she places emphasis on okay. “You, did something happen? Between you two? He hasn’t mentioned you at all, and he’s, he’s always talking about you. Always.” Her tone of concern tapers off into fondness, Minghao shares her sentiments. 

“But, not anymore. He told me last night you haven’t spoken all week. And, he seems so _sad_ , Minghao-yah. So sad. It breaks my heart.” She lets out a quiet sob, and Minghao’s heart hurts, for her, for the thought that he made Mingyu sad. Even if he didn’t mean to, he did, and he absolutely hates himself for it. 

Minghao considers telling her everything is fine, but she’s a _mother_ , she knows better, he would be foolish to try and lie to her. He sighs, and decides to offer some semblance of honesty. “We had a small disagreement, just a misunderstanding. But we’ll be fine, Mom, don’t worry.” She hums, gives another quiet sniff.

“He loves you a lot, son. A lot, more than anyone in this whole world, I think. His heart is big, but it’s gentle, easily broken, I’m sure you know. I know you’ll be fine, because you love each other, and that’s all you need. I want nothing more than for the two of you to remain by each other’s sides, forever.” Minghao feels a few tears escape their well, falling smoothly down his cheeks. He says nothing, because what do you say to that?  
  


“Take care of yourself, Minghao, talk to him when you both get back. You’re good for him, so good for him. It warms my heart more than you could ever know,” she says, before whispering a quiet goodbye, and hanging up the phone.

Minghao holds the phone tightly to his chest, letting himself fall asleep like that, thoughts of Mingyu Kim’s smile on the forefront of his brain, the most beautiful sight in the world.

\---

Mingyu isn’t at the apartment when Minghao gets home. In fact, he doesn’t come home at all that night, despite classes starting the next day. Minghao decides to try and call him, make sure he hasn’t _died_ , and much to his surprise, Mingyu picks up on the final ring. But before Minghao can say anything, Mingyu clears his throat.

“I’ll be staying at Seungcheol hyung’s, for a little while,” he says, shortly. 

“Mingyu, please,” Minghao pleads, softly, desperately, but Mingyu had already cut the call. 

Minghao crashes into his bed, stares up at the ceiling for the slightest of moments, before carrying himself like a man possessed into Mingyu’s room, snuggling up in the abandoned bed, falling asleep to the distant scent of Mingyu’s cologne.

He spends the rest of his nights without Mingyu like that, in Mingyu’s bed, waiting hopelessly to hear the apartment door unlock, signaling Mingyu’s return, but it never does. Classes resume, and Minghao drags himself through schoolwork and a painful No Mingyu life. Two weeks pass without fanfare, adding onto the one week of spring break, resulting in a grand total of three weeks without seeing or talking to Mingyu.

The world has lost all color, Minghao thinks, as he walks to class despondently, Joshua talking animatedly about something next to him. The seniors are newly energized after their trip, even despite Mingyu and Minghao’s drama and Junhui having to leave for a day. Joshua and Jeonghan (Seungcheol was making a pointed effort to not cross paths with Minghao) seem to be glowing more than usual, and Minghao suspects some development in that particular relationship that he’ll have to ask Junhui about later. But Minghao, on the other hand, feels absolutely depleted of all his energy reserves.

It’s true, he simply does not know how to live a life completely devoid of Mingyu, everything feels wrong and incomplete, and he doesn’t know what to do about it.

He’s all too aware of the junior film festival coming up, where Mingyu’s film project that he’d been working so hard on for months would be debuting. Minghao wouldn’t miss it for the world, eager to see all the secrets Mingyu had been keeping from him, but he wasn’t sure if Mingyu would want him to come. Joshua asks him about it, and he responds with a shrug, saying he most likely wouldn’t, to give the other the space he asked for. 

Fuck it, he thinks, the night of the event, pulling on an all black outfit with urgency. He’ll go covertly, Mingyu doesn’t have to know. Minghao can’t miss this, he would never forgive himself for it, thinking of the long nights Mingyu’s spent editing his hours of film, irritatingly never letting Minghao peek at his computer. He’d hold it close to his chest and pout petulantly, offended that Minghao would even try. The memory makes Minghao smile fondly as he drives towards the campus theater. 

He pays for his tickets, and settles in the back of the theater. He watches, his heart throbbing, as Mingyu walks into the theater, Seungcheol, Wonwoo, Jeonghan, Soonyoung, Seokmin, and Hansol behind him. Their other friends all had work, or assignments, but promised to buy the DVD version. Mingyu has the widest grin on his face, as Seungcheol and Wonwoo flank him, cooing at him as he eagerly sits down in one of the front rows. He briefly scans the room, and Minghao sinks deeper into his seat, looks towards the entrance so Mingyu wouldn’t see him. Mingyu frowns, and turns back to the screen. 

One of the TAs welcomes the crowd to the festival, before introducing the first film. Minghao glances down at the program, and sees Mingyu’s is third, so he settles in and relaxedly watches the first two films. 

Finally, the TA introduces the third film, and Minghao feels his heart swell with pride.

“This is An Ode, by junior Mingyu Kim,” he reads out, and their friends all whoop. Minghao can see Mingyu throw his head into his hands, blush reaching the tips of his ears. The lights dim, and a soft stringed instrumental floods his ears.

Minghao sits frozen in his seat when the first clip flashes on the screen and he’s met with his own face. Repeatedly. The entire film is clips of Minghao, artfully edited together against the music, profound, affectionate, ardent, one hundred percent Mingyu. Because Mingyu loves so hard, and he isn’t afraid to show it, isn’t afraid to show everyone in that theater how much he loves, how much he loves Minghao. It’s an ode, an ode to their friendship, for the everlasting love they share, an ode to him. Minghao couldn’t love him anymore, it simply isn't possible.

It’s beyond beautiful, the clips starting out black and white, changing to color with the change of the beat of the song. The editing is divine, colors bright, reflecting the depths of Mingyu’s heart. Minghao feels his heart racing as he lets himself take all of it in, absorbs it, lets it sit in his own heart, feeling as if he now carries a part of Mingyu along with him wherever he goes. Yet, he thinks, perhaps he always has, all along. 

Minghao lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding when the screen fades to black, applause filling the entire theater. Their friends, especially Wonwoo and Seungcheol, are all hugging Mingyu, touching him all over. He’s blushing from head to toe, taking in the praise with joy. Minghao feels his heart soar in approval. Mingyu deserves to be this loved all the time, deserves to be the center of everyone’s attention. Minghao longs to give him that love, to dedicating every waking moment to loving Mingyu because he’s never met anyone who deserves it more. 

Suddenly, Jeonghan turns around slowly to look Minghao directly in the eye. Minghao jumps a little, not realizing the older had noticed him, but not being surprised in the slightest, Jeonghan doesn’t miss _anything_. He just stares at Minghao, not making a move or saying a single word. Eventually, Mingyu looks at him in confusion, before turning to follow Jeonghan’s line of vision.

For the first time in nearly five weeks, Minghao and Mingyu meet eyes, Minghao watching Mingyu’s eyes shine, before transforming into an indiscernible emotion. His mouth parts, in surprise, in embarrassment, in something Minghao can only describe as _not good_ , before he jolts out of his chair, and sprints out of the theater, Seungcheol calling behind him. Minghao meets Jeonghan’s eyes again, who jerks his head towards the exit. 

Minghao gets out of his own seat, and begins walking, then _running_ out of the theater with urgency. It’s gotten dark outside, the traces of purple from the sunset brushing the horizon as the sun recedes completely. Mingyu is darting to his car, and Minghao is struggling to keep up with him, Mingyu’s long legs working to his advantage. 

“Mingyu-yah, _wait_ ,” Minghao shouts, in Korean, which gets Mingyu to pause, refusing to turn around. Minghao catches up with him, and walks in front of him to face him. “Don’t just _run away_ from me.” 

“I didn’t think you would come,” Mingyu says, softly. “I wouldn’t, I don’t know what I would have done, but I didn’t want you to see it. Actually, that’s not even true, I did, and that’s fucked up, isn’t it? I’m so, everything’s so fucked.” Minghao pauses for a moment, staring down at the pavement.

“How could you think I wouldn’t come? I would skip my own funeral to come to this,” is what he chooses to say, and Mingyu lets out a short giggle at it, Minghao relishing in the sound. Mingyu doesn’t respond, they just hold each other’s eye contact for a significant moment, and Minghao can see all too clearly all the yearning, the tender affection in Mingyu’s gaze. 

It’s stifling, but it’s all too familiar. It’s the way Mingyu has looked at him all along, the way he looked at him with his cheek squished into the toilet seat on that fateful night their freshman year, the way he looked at him the night before his birthday, the two of them on the beach, moonlight highlighting all of Mingyu’s perfect features. And Minghao is absolutely sure, he’s looking at Mingyu in the exact same way, their feelings in alignment, harmony, the way they’ve always been, two halves of the perfect whole. 

“I told you, I wanted to be with someone who knows everything about me. There’s no one who knows you better than me, it’s almost scary,” Minghao starts, Mingyu looking at him with wholehearted anticipation. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry that I’ve been so _stupid,_ that I hurt you, that, that I messed everything up. And, I also want to say thank you, for the film. It’s the most gorgeous thing I’ve had the privilege of seeing.” _Besides you_ , Minghao wants to say, but he keeps that particular thought to himself. 

“I don’t know if we’re a lost cause. If I can have you the way I want to, or even the way I used to. But I just wanted to say that to you, now, while I can,” he finishes, with all the honesty in his heart. 

“What’s, how do you want to have me?” Mingyu asks, softly. Minghao’s heart throbs, as he looks up again to meet Mingyu’s look, his eyes shining with hope, and it’s absolutely beautiful. Minghao figures, at this point, he has nothing to lose, so he continues with the honesty, pouring out his heart in front of Mingyu, holding it out for him, still beating and lively. 

“I, I want all of you. It’s so selfish, and too much, but I want it all, Mingyu, I want everything in this world with you for the rest of my life.” Tears spill almost elegantly down Mingyu’s cheeks, and Minghao absentmindedly reaches a hand up to brush them off with his thumb, devotion expressed in every level of his demeanor. “I meant it, I meant it with everything in me, and I’m so sorry that I made you think otherwise, but I love you, I do, I always will.” Mingyu parts his lips in surprise, staring down at Minghao, who still is holding his cheek tenderly in his hand.

Minghao expects Mingyu to shake his head, to turn around back to his car, leaving Minghao behind. It’s what he should do. But instead, Mingyu leans in slowly, puts his lips on Minghao’s, and kisses him with profound affection, wordless confessions and messages carried through the movement of his lips. Minghao kisses him back with the same intensity, the same feelings exposed to Mingyu, fearlessly. 

“I don’t want anything if you’re not by my side,” Mingyu whispers against his lips, and Minghao feels the words reverberate through his entire body, settling alongside the film that he’s committed to memory, the knowledge that this beautiful boy in front of him is in _love with him_ the only thing he needs to keep going. He cradles the back of Mingyu’s neck, pulling him into another kiss, hoping it expresses how Minghao feels the exact same.

And he thinks it does, as Mingyu smiles into the kiss, relaxing even more into Minghao’s hold. It’s just the two of them in the empty parking lot, the moon peeking through the clouds ever so slightly, but just enough, for a small strip of light to cross over them, illuminating them as they stand, just as they always have, with each other. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOO! *wipes sweat off of forehead* ALL DONE!!
> 
> this was one big cliche. just a cliche in a fic because that is who i am as a person. what can i say!!!! i just love romance so much :( i really hope you enjoyed, you lovely soul!!!
> 
> i hope the ending wasn't too abrupt.. i'm not good at writing the fluff post resolution :(((( 
> 
> +++ be sure to stream junhui's new album when it comes out on sunday!!!! show our lovely talented boy all of the support that he deserves <3!!!! (+ if you're a once, or interested in twice, or have taste, stream dahyun + chaeyoung's melody project ;)) 
> 
> *additional notes*
> 
> \- if you read my last gyuhao fic you'll know how much i love the trope of Feelings being exposed through art/music because i think it is the most beautiful language of all and can carry so much more emotions than just words SOO hence the whole film thing hehe. GAY PEOPLE EXPRESS LOVE THRU ART!!!!!!!  
> \- i Do NOT know much about film so please forgive me for that.. for visuals.. you can imagine the video mingyu edited for minghao's birthday.. but longer??? idk!  
> \- and because i'm sahyoist i'll throw in that sana and jihyo get back together in the end<333  
> \- also random but i don't think pet names are a specifically romantic thing, i think you can definitely platonically call your friends pet names, i do lol, i just included it for the sake of The Fic
> 
> comments and kudos always appreciated, seriously, some of you guys leave the most wonderful comments that i think about for days and days on end :( <3 thank you thank you thank you
> 
> (also i made a [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/97babys/)..... if you're interested in chatting with me more Anonymously lol, just be nice i am so very sensitive ;--; i don't have public stan social media so!) 
> 
> stay safe and healthy everyone~ until the next one <3


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